Save The Last Dance For Me
by Blame Blam
Summary: When Sam falls for a male friend he suppresses as many feelings as he can. This goes on after he graduates. Then he meets Elliott and the singer soon realises that Sam likes guys. He suggests they hook up to relieve some tension while they can't have the guys they actually want. (Eventual Blam and Kelliott.)
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Sam is insecure about his sexuality so when he falls for a male friend he suppresses as many feelings as he can. This goes on after he graduates. When he meets Elliot the singer soon realises that Sam likes guys and suggests they hook up to relieve some tension while they can't have the guys they actually want. (Eventual Blam.)

Notes: I don't have to mention this, it's self-evidently, but Blam is endgame. In the beginning it will be platonic, though, and there will be _other pairings_ with both Blaine and Sam. Be patient… and bear with the angst.^^

Other unimportant stuff: There will be _NO_ Samcedes. Not Tina-friendly, too, but that doesn't even need to be warned I just keep to canon.  
The beginning is set around 5x01/5x02 but from there on I will follow canon only if it suits me.  
Starts with Lima, NY & Elliot-storyline will start only in later chapters.  
Rated M just to be sure.

**Save The Last Dance For Me**

"_I pick Sam because he is the least gay and the least Asian."_

Sam's chest tightened. There was no reason to think about that right now. He had agreed to be at Tina's disposal for prom if she wanted to (well she had been supposed to pick Blaine, for heaven's sake!) so he would.

The least gay, yeah. If she only knew. Sam snorted disbelievingly to himself as he got out of his letterman jacket and threw it vaguely into the direction his desk chair stood. The jacket fell to the floor though. Sam lay down on his bed, on his stomach, and grabbed his phone.

It had been the most exhausting week ever. They had been to Westerville, Dayton and Akron to ask their opponent show choir clubs to help them – Blaine to be specific – with a proposal. They had agreed and the shit had gone down today. Kurt had said yes. Now, Sam was really happy for his best friend and the former McKinley student, sure. But right now all he wanted to do was sleep. Watching gay couples was weird. It made Sam's guts a bit groggy because… because… he didn't know and he didn't want to find out. But he had to gulp things down. He knew that theoretically every teenager had the possibility of experimenting with someone of his own gender and that didn't have to mean anything. But it was weird and strange and could be pushed aside completely. Hopefully.

_Dude what a crazy week right? wanna relax tomorrow?_ he tipped into Whats-App and immediately sent it.

_Yeah y not._

_Cool. _

Sam pleaded his lips and grinded his jaw. Should he write something else? What would they do? Should he plan something?

Before he could decide another text came in, this one from Blaine.

_Sam, I'm SO happy!_

_Hey, great! Glad ur happy. _

Sam rolled his eyes. If Blaine was so happy why didn't he tell Kurt? Seriously.

Yeah, okay. Sam was a little jealous. They were happy together and he? He had to go to prom with the queen bee of all bitches. But no. No thinking about that. Tomorrow would be good, tomorrow would relax him. Now, _should_ he plan something? They could watch a movie or maybe go to Breadstix.

Sam nodded to himself. Good idea. Food and everything. His stomach tingled a bit and made him smile. Yeah, see, the relaxation part had already begun!

Sam laid his phone aside, rolled on his back and exhaled. He heard a far-away cry from his brother – Stevie went through a phase – and closed his eyes in order to ignore it. Yes, he was glad his family had moved back to Lima last year but especially his younger siblings sometimes were annoying and Sam missed living with the Hummel-Hudson's.

* * *

Soon enough it was Saturday and Sam stood in front of his cupboard. He wanted to look nice, stylish and neat but not like he had put effort into his appearance. It was just a bro-hang so… yeah. What else!? Tsk, right, stupid implication that it could be something else because it could _not_. And what else anyway!?

Sam rolled his eyes to his mirror image and grasped a green sweater. That would be it. No second guessing.

* * *

Shit. Sam's hands were sweaty. He should have not suggested going to Breadstix because it was weird. People were chattering and eating and drinking, and stuff like that, and Sam felt like everybody here was on a date and would now assume they were, too. This was _so_ stupid since Ryder kept on babbling about football and something that included playgirls with big boobs and pretzels. His short brown hair looked fabulous, though, and Sam was sure it would also smell fantastic if he would get close enough to –

Okay, whoa, stop that now. Sam smiled and nodded at Ryder. See, this was the kind of thoughts that had to be suppressed. It was gay. It's not like he hated gay people but there was no need to be one of them. And he couldn't even be one of them since he had been in love with girls before. And he still looked at them on TV and everything. When boys were shirtless he only looked to compare their bodies to his. No other reason.

"I'm thinking about asking Unique to go to prom with me", Ryder said.

"Cool, man, go for it", Sam automatically said. He took a bread stick and bit into it. "Wait, since when… I thought you hated her for cat-fishing you?"

"In case you didn't notice I don't anymore. I also didn't resign Glee club as announced…?"

"Oh. Yeah."

Ryder took a deep breath and nodded with a happy smile on his face. Damn, he was cute.

"Though it still freaks me out a little that she… you know… has, uhm…" Ryder pursed his lips and looked at the table. Sam frowned questioningly.

Ryder leaned forward and whispered: "Has male parts, you know. I mean… does that make me gay or…?"

A hot wave rolled up Sam's torso and neck and warmed up his cheeks. Gay!?

"I don't know?"

Ryder nodded insecurely and then was silent because the waitress brought them their food. Sam ate his salad with chicken slices but his throat was so dry he had to drink a lot of water to push it down.

"I just don't understand", Ryder said when the heavy atmosphere hadn't lifted after many silent moments. "Why he wants to be a _she_ so badly. Or why I like… her. Him? It's not like I have something against gay people but I never thought that would even remotely… uh, apply to me."

"Oh my God, yes! Me, too!"

Sam smacked his mouth in the same moment Ryder tore open his eyes.

"What?"

"I mean I would think exactly the same in your situation."

Ryder took, like, five seconds to close his mouth and breathe again. Eventually he glanced around, leaned forward and very quietly said: "Blaine?"

"Huh? Blaine?" Sam repeated. Yes, Blaine was very gay. They all knew that. But Sam hadn't even thought about talking to him. For various reasons that wasn't the best idea ever, starting with the fact that there was _nothing_ to talk about!

Ryder sighed. "I'm so sorry, Sam, it must be hard for you with him getting engaged and everything."

Sam nodded, wetted his lips and narrowed his eyes.

"Thanks. Uhm, but why is that hard for me?"

And how were they talking about Blaine and Kurt now when they needed to talk about Ryder's possible gayness?

Ryder frowned. "Well, with you being in love with Blaine and all."

Sam narrowed his eyes even more. He wanted to laugh but the impulse was drowned by the realisation that Ryder had nothing against the fact – well the _possibility!_ – that Sam could like boys.

"I'm not in love with Blaine. I'm not in love with anybody and I only go to prom with Tina because she picked me."

"If you're not in love with him then why did you say it?"

"Say what?" Damn, they were supposed to talk about _Ryder_!

Ryder tried to stare Sam down. Nothing felt right and Sam's hands got even wetter. He put down his cutlery and gulped. He might as well… hint that… that…

But there was nothing to talk about!

"Anyway", Ryder said, only reluctantly releasing Sam from his gaze. "Do you think she will say yes? Unique? After all it's next week already."

"Wait and see." Oh, that had sounded rough. Sam drank a sip from his water and then even more until the glass was empty. Shit, nothing was right. He wanted to go home. He wanted to hide under his blanket and cry. But even more so he wanted to talk about Ryder's possible gayness and maybe, well, see if Ryder wanted to… to… find out… Sam could help him. Just some experimental stuff.

But they left the restaurant without talking deeply about that topic and suddenly Sam was not in the mood for a movie anymore. He just went home and sat on his bed, staring into space for a long time. It was exhausting. To keep those thoughts at bay. Fantasies… So maybe he wanted to experiment. That wasn't bad, right? It wouldn't mean he would turn gay, right? Or actually do something with another boy. He could just _think_ about things… or… maybe…

Sam puckered his lips and glanced at the door. His parents were still awake, it was only ten p.m. His siblings were in bed already, though, and Sam knew his parents wouldn't check on him or come in unannounced. So yeah. He closed the door completely and booted up his laptop.

It wasn't hard to find gay porn at all, not at all. Bless the internet. Alright. The kissing wasn't that weird. Sam had seen gay people kiss before. Well, okay, just Blaine and Kurt but they counted. Though… oh God. His friends had never done _this_ in front of Sam's eyes!

He spend the next half hour watching with his eyes only minimal opened – he couldn't watch all of it but he didn't want to stop it, too. These men were _really_ into dicks. They liked having them in their mouths and asses. Sam's own dick, well, it didn't get hard at the sight. Come one, this was weird and strange and… but okay, it did lift its head a bit to sneak a peek.

Still, the porn didn't do it for Sam. He switched it off and thought about Ryder's hair. Hair was such a nice thing to think about. Was that weird, too? Sam had always liked people's hair. Girls hair smelled fantastic and who said it wasn't the same with guys?

To continue his experiment Sam slid his hand into his trousers and played a bit. It was okay to think about friends, right? So… Ryder coming in, telling Sam he needed to try something. They'd kiss, they'd roll around on the bed and Sam would touch the others' ass…

He bit his lip and gulped down all noises as his hand got faster. It didn't take long and his body shuddered with short-dated happiness. Sam pressed his face into the matrass and moaned until his pants were full of hot liquid. He waited a few moments to catch his breath, then he got up and went to the bathroom.

There still was nothing to talk about.

* * *

It wasn't like Sam wanted to know explicit things but he was allowed to be curious about his best friend's life, wasn't he?

"So how does it work with gay marriage? Do you take his last name or does he take yours or do you both hyphenate?"

"Right now I'm honestly just excited that Kurt said yes", Blaine said while aimlessly playing on the piano. Sam lay on said thing and listened to the notes right under his head. These stopped abruptly now.

"Hey, are you looking forward to prom?" Blaine's voice asked. Sam frowned at the choir room ceiling. This again. Did they have to talk about it?

"I fell asleep last night while Tina was texting me about her prom dress", Blaine continued. "It's really nice of you going with her, by the way."

Oh, what the heck. He could fill Blaine in.

"Yeah, I guess so. Just… I don't know, it's my senior prom so I kind of wish I was going with somebody I really care about."

Others voices were increasing in the choir room so Sam sat up, assuming Glee club was about to start.

"Damn, I have been seriously unlucky in love", he said to himself. And it was true. Hey, maybe _that_ was the reason he… had thought about those things on the weekend. Not because he had gay genes in him but because he was desperate!

He didn't get nominated for prom king but Tina for prom queen. And in that very second she knew it she told him their deal was off. Wow. Okay. Alright. Sam tried to digest it while she started to sing. Sure, he hadn't wanted to… but getting ditched, well, that didn't exactly rock either.

* * *

During lunch break he saw Ryder talking to Unique. Did he ask her out now?

"Hey, are you okay? That really wasn't nice of Tina."

Sam turned to the other side of his locker and shrugged.

"Yeah, well, it's not like I really wanted to go with her", he said.

"Is there someone who you really want to go with?" Blaine asked while putting a book into his locker.

Sam restrained himself from looking over his shoulder because he did _not_ want to go to prom with Ryder. Come on.

"No. I'll just settle without a date."

"If you want to we can go together. As friends."

Sam nodded before the words arrived in his brain. Wait, what?

"Dude, but I'm not gay!"

"I know you are not, Sam. As I said, as friends." Blaine lifted his eyebrows. "I'm happily engaged and I don't crush on you anymore if that's what you're afraid of."

"I'm not afraid, it's just… It could make the wrong impression?"

Blaine shrugged. "It was just a thought. Of course we can both go dateless."

"Yeah." Sam nodded. He closed his locker and glanced over his shoulder. Speaking of crushes. This was weird and strange, once again, but Sam kind of… well he did… have a …? No. Nonsense. Nothing to talk about.

He cleared his throat and glanced at Blaine who now closed his own locker and returned the look, questioningly lifting his eyebrows in response to it.

Should Sam tell him? But how? What? No. There was nothing – oh for heaven's sake, okay, there _was_ something to talk about! But… what and how would Blaine… like… react to it? He was gay, sure, but Sam was supposed to be the straight one.

"Sam?"

"Yeah, uhm." Sam nodded. That was his name, alright. He looked over his shoulder once again only to discover his friends weren't there anymore.

"What I said about having been unlucky in love, do you think that's kind of a curse that will continue forever and I will only crush on people who are like unreachable and not playing in my league?" Sam cast out without taking a break.

Blaine's eyes went all empathetic.

"No. I think you will find someone who returns your affections soon. Is it the school nurse?"

"Uhm, _what?_"

Sam looked around. Oh, the new school nurse stood where Ryder and Unique had stood before. Sam shook his head to Blaine.

"I can't talk about this here in school."

Blaine agreed to meet after school at his place and then Sam went on to his next class. Now it really was a gift of the heavens that he had most of his classes with Ryder. But it also was a curse since it confronted Sam nonstop with his recently developed weirdness. He could've used a break, you know?

"So, uhm, did you, like… ask her?" Sam jumped up as soon History was over and walked out next to Ryder.

"I sure did", Ryder grinned. Damn, that was a bad sign.

"She said yes? Cool, man."

Ryder nodded and Sam puckered his lips. It's not like he would have wanted to go to prom with Ryder. That would've been way too much. But…

"And about… you know? That thing?" Sam asked.

They walked down the hall, once again approaching the lockers.

"I don't know. It's still creeps me out but I figure… we can talk and stuff."

Sam nodded. "And would you kiss her?"

Ryder pulled a face into his locker, then he turned around and faced Sam.

"Why are you so curious, man?"

"Because I _am!_"

Ryder looked contemplatively at Sam and Sam would've lied if he had said it didn't agitate some things in him. He thought about Saturday night and felt the heat from what he had done coming right up into his cheeks.

"Do you want to talk about it later? After school?" Ryder asked.

"Yes! Uhm,I mean, okay, if you insist."

Ryder raised his eyebrows and Sam decided he had said too much already. He set up a time, went to his own locker and only clenched his fist in a victory gesture when he pretended to be busy with his books.

He had just one class left and that he spend with a whole ant army in his pants. As soon as the bell rang he was up and out of the door. The book came into his locker and the door got slammed.

"Blaine, I can't make it", Sam announced as his best friend approached his own locker. "Something came up."

"Yeah?"

Sam nodded. "It's important, too."

Wait – was it? Like _really_ important? It was just Ryder so…

"Then make the best of it", Blaine suggested.

Sam nodded again but suddenly he was afraid. What was his intention if he'd spend the afternoon with Ryder? Clearly nothing honourable. That was bad in itself but things would be so much worse if Ryder would… too… but he didn't. He never would. He liked Unique. So what was the point anyway? Sam would only set himself up for more disappointment!

"You'll tell me about it tomorrow?" Blaine asked.

"I guess so, yeah."

Sam spotted Ryder from a distance and since he wasn't ready yet to let Blaine know what he was all excited about he left his best friend and went to the brunette boy.

* * *

"Okay, so, now talk."

Ryder settled down on his bed, bit into a chocolate bar and offered Sam one, too. However, Sam was too confused to pay attention it.

"Talk about what?"

"Whatever you need to talk about."

"I just wanted to know how you feel about that whole Unique thing."

"Uhu, okay, and why?"

"Why why?"

Ryder rolled his eyes. "No one is that curious about something if it isn't about something that concerns them, too."

"Wow, man, you're so… wise."

Sam really meant it but Ryder only rolled his eyes once again.

"Do you think you're gay now?" Sam asked in lack of other thoughts. Of course that was highly stupid, highly. Ryder just frowned, anyhow.

"Because, you know, Unique's physic is a guy ones' and… you know", Sam said.

Ryder crumbled the paper from his chocolate bar and threw it to the bin that stood underneath his desk. He missed for miles but he didn't seem to care. He shrugged.

"I can't tell. And you know what, maybe it doesn't matter. What really counts is love."

"Wow, you're so…" Sam bit his lip. Wise, yeah, they'd been there. Ryder's lips were really pink, though. Like… how would it be to kiss them? Oh God, what was he _thinking_ about?

Sam looked into Ryder's eyes and pushed a smile in his face.

"Are _you_ gay?" Ryder asked.

"I'm not", Sam assured him. The Saturday night heat was back in his cheeks though. "I just… I…"

Oh God. He should've talked to Blaine first. He couldn't go around confessing things he had never talked about with a safe person, someone who wouldn't laugh or reject Sam. Shit.

Ryder got all silent now, too. His eyes fluttered through the room and he wetted his lips. Sam only saw it per accident, of course.

"Sam, this really… it kind of feels… Is this still about Blaine or…?"

Sam shook his head.

"It has never been about him", he said but then he didn't know how to talk on. He couldn't just go and hit on Ryder. Oh my God! What even… what!? Wow. He was totally out of his mind!

Sam got up. "You know what, I have to go. Speaking of Blaine… I forgot I was supposed to meet him. Sorry."

Ryder watched him as he took his bag and hurried out of the door. Sam glanced back and caught his eyes for a moment and was sure to blush in an even deeper shade of red. Fuck. He was screwed.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for reading, reviewing and favoring. :-)

* * *

Sam took a deep breath and pressed his thumb against the doorbell. He heard the ring and fumbled with his fingers while he waited. He didn't know what he would say but he hadn't known it when he had planned on talking to Blaine in the first place anyhow. Somehow it would come out.

Mrs Anderson opened the door.

"Hey, Sam! I didn't knew you'd come over", she said as she let him in.

"Emergency, Mrs Anderson", he informed her.

"I hope it's something you can also share with Tina."

"Wh- She is here?"

Mrs Anderson nodded and went to the living room again. Sam sighed and went upstairs. Oh wow, great, now things would get specifically awkward. But if Sam played it well enough (and he would) Blaine would throw Tina out, right?

Sam knocked at the half opened door and went in immediately. Tina and Blaine were sitting on his bed opposite to each other and Tina held a magazine in her hands while many others were lying on the bed. When Blaine looked up and saw Sam his face was flooded with such obvious relief Sam had to grin.

"Hey, guess who could make it nonetheless!" he greeted them.

"Sam!"

"Hey Sam", Tina mumbled.

Sam put his bag on the ground and went to sit next to Blaine. He even laid an arm around his shoulders while looking at Tina. It was childish and stupid, yes, but revenge has always been the sweetest dish. Though he didn't even know what kind of revenge this was. Yes, Tina had had a crush on Blaine some time ago but she didn't have any more otherwise she'd picked him as her prom date.

"We were just talking dresses, Sam, are you sure you want to join in?" she asked.

"Tina, can't we… take a break? We've talked about that for days on end now", Blaine said.

"Yeah, and I have something _really_ important to tell Blaine. In private", Sam said.

Tin crossed her arms.

"What is it?"

Sam snorted. He took back his arm and frowned.

"The word 'private' means, well, not you."

"I was here first" Tina stated. "And I bet everything I have my topic is more important. You can tell Blaine about your newest video game or how you can fit ten Oreos at once into your mouth tomorrow at school as well."

"Ten?" Sam snorted disbelievingly – for a matter of fact he knew he could fit at least fifteen if not twenty in there – but Blaine interrupted him.

"Tina, please."

"No."

"Oh, wow. Why am I not surprised about this utter rudeness? This is Blaine's house", Sam said. "Blaine's room. Blaine's decision."

"You've had your chance, and you missed it. Now…" Tina pointed to the door and Sam frowned.

"What?"

"Tina, what are you talking about?" Blaine asked. "We can talk on about your dress just as well tomorrow."

"No, I refuse to be thrown out because of Trouty Mouth!"

Sam drew in air. Oh no, she hadn't! Wow, now Santana was gone she had to take over… but yeah, he should've seen it earlier. That was Tina's life goal, actually! Santana Number Two!

"Tina, that's enough now!" Blaine said in a somewhat strict voice. Sam nodded supporting and watched Tina gathering her stuff. She mumbled under her breath and eventually hurried out.

"I'm sorry" Blaine said when she was gone. "I don't know why she keeps being rude to you."

"It's not your fault." Now they were alone Sam wasn't that cheeky anymore. Actually he didn't want to talk. Couldn't they just… watch a movie or, well, do homework? Yeah, homework seemed like the best idea ever right now!

Blaine put away the magazines Tina hadn't taken with her and laid them on his desk.

"Do you want to drink something? Or eat?"

"No, I'm good."

"What have you been up to?"

Sam took a deep breath and lay down on the bed. He figured it would be easier if he didn't have to look at Blaine. Just like in the morning in the choir room when he had dared to ask gay questions. But those questions had been about Blaine. Now… now Sam had to… well…

Blaine came to the bed and sat down at Sam's side so Sam closed his eyes.

"I can't", he said.

"Is it something bad?"

"No. I don't know."

Shit, he should've stayed with Ryder. But who was he kidding. No matter with whom he wanted to speak he'd back out. Better get it over with and yeah, better with Blaine first.

"I'm… I…"

But he couldn't say it _out_ _loud!_

"Is it about the prom?"

Sam wetted his lips. "No. Not really. Well, uhm… Look. I'm not saying I'm…"

Sam opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling. His heart pulse rushed through his ears. It was one thing silently thinking stuff in his room but another to talk about it with an actual real person. But this was Blaine, so there was no risk whatsoever. He just had to say it, spit it out now.

Sam closed his eyes again and whispered: "I think I have a crush on…"

One heartbeat, two, three.

"On a boy."

Oh my God! Oh Shit. Sam put his hands on his face and inhaled. What would Blaine think now?

Sam dared to glance at Blaine, who just sat there, no reaction whatsoever. No disbelief, no shock, no pity. Just when their eyes met he nodded encouragingly and that was all Sam needed. He propped himself on his elbow and fumbled with the sheet on the bed.

"I don't know, I guess it kinda just happened. It's not very deep, I'm not in love or anything, I just think he's cute and…" Sam shrugged. He didn't have to mention the incident on Saturday, enough was enough.

"Okay."

"Okay? Just… okay?"

Blaine shrugged. "Yeah."

Sam held his eyes for a few seconds. He had known Blaine would be okay with it. But it still felt good, so good, so great!

"Aren't you surprised?" he had to ask nonetheless. Sam was supposed to be the straight one, completely straight.

Blaine shrugged again. "Well, yes, I thought you were straight. But you're only eighteen, too. It's not unusual to discover things like that in your age."

"I don't know if it's permanent", Sam quickly said. "Maybe I'm in a phase, you know?"

"That's possible." Blaine nodded. "Maybe my gayness has infected you."

"Oh, shut up!" Sam grinned and nudged Blaine's arm. Yes! He was out now, he could so go and… but Ryder would not want to do anything… and did Sam even want it for real?

"Don't tell anybody, okay?" he said to Blaine.

"It's your call", Blaine said. "Will you ask him out?"

"No, he's straight. And I'm… I don't know. Maybe thinking is the most exciting stuff here, you know? Cause…" Sam shrugged. "I've watched gay porn."

"Oh God! Oh God, Sam, please, spare me the details!" Blaine laughed, as did Sam. But man, it felt good to talk about things.

"Thanks, bro. Just… for listening. If you want to go on talking about Kurt now you can."

"Well, we spend the whole last week talking about me. It's only fair I get to return the favour", Blaine said. He got up and went to his desk so Sam lay down and closed his eyes again. See, it didn't matter if he thought things. Ryder was cute. Yes, there, he had said it.

If Ryder would want to go to prom with Sam would Sam agree? Would he want that? Openly going with another boy…? No, he would not, actually. Sam didn't want to have dates. He wasn't really gay after all.

"Stop overthinking, Sam", Blaine said. He said down again and laid a book on Sam's stomach. The blond looked up and took it into his hands.

"Development of sexuality, a guide for the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Trans youth", Sam read. "Oh my God, you have…"

Of course Blaine would have books about that, why was he even surprised? Probably because he had never thought about it. Neither that there were books like that nor that Blaine had any use for them. He was gay, end of discussion. But maybe things haven't been always easy for him, too?

"It's also interesting if you're heterosexual", Blaine said. "So there's no harm in reading it."

"Thanks, dude."

"Anytime, Sam. And whenever you want to talk about something you can come to me, you know that, right?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

Blaine nodded. Then Sam rolled around, propped himself on his elbows and went through the index.

* * *

The next day Sam passed Tina at her locker and she sent him an evil glare. He didn't even try to keep up politeness, returned the look and then opened his locker door so he didn't have to see her anymore.

Just his luck that Kitty approached from the other side.

"So. Seeing that you're free for prom now that Asian Wonder Woman has dumped you and I am free, too, we should go together."

"Uh… Aren't you dating Artie?"

"Na-uh. He didn't want to live out the Secret Affair Trope so I called it off."

"Well, I'm sorry. But I'm not interested especially since you'll only use me to not be alone just as Tina would have. You're not better than her."

"Oh, I am so much better than her!"

"No, you are not."

Sam rolled his eyes, grabbed his Spanish book and quickly left the hall of crazy.

Only after History did he get the chance to talk to Ryder. It was terrible, though. Sam forgot what he wanted to say when he stood before the brunette boy, made a noise that sounded like "hgnarf" and felt Saturday night heat climbing up his neck. Ryder's hair was the most distracting thing. And his lips, too.

"Sam, are you okay?" Ryder asked. He was leaning against a wall, talking to Marley so it was even more embarrassing.

"Who are you going to prom with, now?" Marley asked.

"Uh, uhm, why, with who do you go?"

Marley frowned. "Jake of course."

"Oh, yeah. And you?"

"I already told you yesterday", Ryder said. "Unique."

"Huh. Okay, well, being dateless isn't bad, right? Kitty asked me."

"Oh… what? Really? Do you… did you say yes?" Marley asked.

"No, duh. She'd be using me. I need someone who is sweet and, like, honestly likes me" Sam said. In doing so he looked at the wall and at the ground, anywhere but at Ryder.

"How about Blaine?" Marley said.

"Oh, yeah", was all Sam could answer. He dared to look at Ryder now, who studied him. The attention lay heavy on his shoulders, so heavy.

"I don't _have_ to have a date", Sam said to Marley. She shrugged.

"Of course not. I just thought it's your senior prom and maybe you'd like to go with someone…"

"I really care about? Yes, I do", Sam said. But he had meant it romantically. What difference would it make if he went dateless or with a platonic date? No difference at all; being dateless would end with him and Blaine spending all of the time together, anyway.

"Isn't Blaine, like… engaged?" Ryder asked. "I vaguely remember something from last week."

"_If_ I'd go with Blaine it would be purely platonic", Sam said, head shaking lightly because what else. Honestly, sometimes Ryder was so… so….

Cute.

"Platonic or not, the prom is about having a great time, a night to remember and talk about later in life. Well, I don't know about you guys but _I_ will make the best of it." Marley smiled sweetly and turned around, leaving Sam alone with Ryder.

"Yeah, uhm, I have to go, too…" Ryder pointed over his shoulder but Sam couldn't stop looking at him.

"You didn't answer any of my questions yesterday."

"Well, you didn't answer any of mine."

"You want to try again tonight?"

"Uhm." Ryder's eyes flew over the passing students, uneasy and maybe nervous? He avoided Sam's eyes when he mumbled "No, I've got… homework" and then went away, too.

Shit. Sam bit his lips and briefly closed his eyes, pressing down the funny lump in his throat. Boys weren't any better than girls. He would _never_ find love, never. Why did he even try? To hell with hopes, to hell with Saturday night experiments, to hell with that gay book.

Sam blew his nose with a tissue and went on to his locker. It was lunch break now but he wasn't hungry. Two more hours than he could go home and cry and… Wow, he sounded like a girl. So whiny. And moody. Maybe he should rather say 'to hell with self-pity' because that was exactly what he was bathing in right now.

A locker got slammed and pulled Sam out of his thoughts.

"Damn! Do you have to…" Sam gestured to the locker.

Blaine frowned. "Have you cried?"

"No! Fuck, why do you think that? Are my eyes…?" Sam opened his locker door more to look into the mirror. His eyes were not as red as he had thought but he looked shaken, alright. He put strands of his hair behind his ears and applied a chap stick. To hell with Ryder! He would have the best prom ever. Marley had been right it _was_ his senior prom. From all the proms this was the one he'd think of first if anyone would mention high school dances.

"Blaine, do you still want to go to prom with me?" Sam asked while wiping over his eyes. Okay, everything was okay now. And he would not cry, not now, not at home. Eventually he looked past his locker at his best friend who leaned against his with a critical look on his face.

"What? Yes or no", Sam said.

"I thought you –"

"Yes or no?" Sam repeated, interrupting to make it clear he didn't want to talk about his change of heart.

Blaine sighed and nodded.

"Well, okay, done deal. I'll pick you up at seven. We're going to Breadstix and we're going to have the best platonic date ever. Even better than the real ones Ryder and Marley are having", Sam said.

Blaine still didn't change his facial expression. Sam literally saw questions coming out of his eyes so he quickly closed his locker and went to the cafeteria.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The week was the worst ever. The gay book did help a little to answer some questions he wouldn't have dared to ask, alright. But it didn't tell him what he should do. If he should continue thinking about Ryder or not. If this was a road he could leave anytime… or not.

For now Sam decided to not try and stop it. Meaning he repeated Saturday night even on Wednesday and Thursday night. On Thursday he even teased himself a bit, stopped before he came and very gently and slowly stroked along his twitching cock, pretending it was Ryder who did it. And oh yeah, it was good, so why not.

Well, the prom wasn't that good in comparison. Sam almost wanted to stay home but well, it was his senior prom. And what would his life turn into, anyway, if he just stayed home and jerked off all the time? Probably something not very much fun…

"Oh damn, we should have reserved! The whole school is here", Sam said when they entered Breadstix. He kept himself busy with looking for a table and pretended that it didn't matter at all that he was here with a boy. It was just Blaine, yes, but not everybody knew that. Some people would see them and think they were gay for each other. Really gay. Like fucking-each-other-gay.

The good thing about Breadstix being full as hell was that no one really paid attention to other than themselves. Well. Except their fellow Glee mates. Sam really wouldn't have thought they'd even look twice but there were some who tore their eyes open as Blaine and he took place at a table. Kitty, for one. Tina of course, too. Ryder not, though, he shot a glimpse and continued talking to Unique who in turn waved and winked at Sam.

"Do you feel uncomfortable? You feel uncomfortable, right?" Blaine said with a worried look.

"I feel just… weird. And strange."

Blaine sighed and opened his menu, tipping his fingers against it.

"We should have not come here before the prom. I mean if we'd been dateless we wouldn't have, too."

"But we aren't dateless. Calm down, man. You're even more stressed out than me. Is this still about what happened at your old school?"

Blaine exhaled, his fingers clenched on the menu and he briefly nodded. Then he shook his head.

"It can't be. I've been to McKinley dances with Kurt. I even danced with him in front of everybody. It can't be because of that."

Sam bit his lip. He wasn't an expert with psychological stuff but he wondered if one good experience could even out a tremendously bad. He didn't know. He just knew that his stripper months were something he sometimes still dreamt of (not in a good way) as well as the looks all those women had given him. They had made him feel dirty as hell even when he had been a virgin.

"I don't know, I think it could be. Things like that can come back, you know?" Sam said.

Blaine shrugged. Sam took a menu, too, and chose a steak. Then he let his eyes wander around. Ryder looked at Unique with a somewhat loony smile. Disgusting! Marley and Jake, no news. Kitty was here with Artie, uhu, called it off, my ass. Or she was desperate. Tina was here with her assistant Dottie, who she talked to while the poor girl nodded and wrote stuff down.

"Dude, I'm so glad I'm not here with her", Sam said. Blaine turned his head.

"Oh", he sighed. "Tina has been a little rough lately, it's true."

Sam frowned. _A little? Lately?_ Alright. He cleared his throat and changed the subject to Kurt. Always a good idea to distract Blaine from things. And it brought a smile on his face as intended. Sam however stopped to listen halfway through the story. Not on purpose, but what could he do when Ryder sat like almost directly in his view and sometimes looked over.

Eventually the waitress brought their food and Sam couldn't wait to dive in. He picked up his fork and…

"Wow. So this is how you treat the sacred bond of promised marriage. One week after you got engaged. I'm more than disgusted, I am traumatized. Oh yes, you heard right, you traumatized a cute little Christian not-so-virginal maiden! Aren't you ashamed of yourself, Blaine Anderson? And you, deal breaker Number two. You don't even have the dignity to cheat secretly, wow. I'm speechless."

"You talk pretty much for being speechless", Sam commented.

Kitty raised her eyebrows at him. She had come out of nothing and Sam hoped she would vanish into the exact same thing soon. Like now. She liked stirring trouble, okay, they all knew that! Good for her! But being that ridiculous was something new even for her.

"Kitty", Blaine sighed. "We'd like to eat here?"

"Aaand you don't even deny it."

"Because there is nothing to deny and you know it. You're with us in Glee club, so…" Blaine gestured through the air.

"Oh really, that's your argument?" Her eyebrows flew even higher. "Because from what I remember a few months ago you two had some pansy things going on."

"Pansy things?" Sam frowned. What even what that supposed to mean?

"Love songs dedicated to each other and whatnot. I'm not the enemy here, Blam. I just want to reach your inner, very deep buried morality and pull it out into the sunlight so you can see that Jesus loves you! Even when you're gay. At least that's what my new minister says. Anyway, if you love each other, don't propose to other boys! That is so soap opera I don't even know how it could end any different than with a tragic double or maybe triple suicide."

"Uhu, okay, can we eat now?" Sam asked.

She threw them a fake pitiful look and retreated. Finally! Sam didn't even take the effort of shaking his head about her silliness and simply started eating. The steak melted under his knife and the salad accompanying it wasn't bad, too.

"Do you think…"

Sam looked up at Blaine who was punting at his food.

"Dude?" Sam asked.

Blaine sighed deeply and looked up.

"Do you think I should've asked Kurt if he minds?"

"Wait, you didn't?"

Blaine stared at Sam who immediately realised this was the wrong reaction. Sometimes he didn't think, okay?

"But anyway, it's not like this is a _real_ date so why would he? He knows we're good friends."

"He also knows…" Blaine puckered his lips and looked at his food again. "Never mind."

"What, that you wanted to sex me up? That's normal, bro. Completely normal. And it's over, you said so yourself. We're good." Sam shrugged and kept on eating. Seriously, he did have other problems than his best friend's fiancé who was, by the way, also a friend.

Sam really didn't know what the fuzz was all about. Couldn't two close friends go to prom together without everyone thinking they did it? Seriously, what has become of this world? So dirty minded, tsk. Now, moving on to the real problems as in… maybe if Ryder was a little tipsy later on he'd want to… try… things?

But Ryder stayed with Unique all fucking night long. Sometimes Sam caught his eyes but he quickly looked away like all the time. But Sam did not have much time to think about it since he also had to deal with some looks people gave him and Blaine. Jocks frowned, Cheerios judged them.

"This is ridiculous", Sam mumbled. As if those people were in a place to judge others! And even if they were they should not do so for being gay. That was A-plus-homophobia and they were the biggest jerks ever.

"Let's dance" Sam suggested after his third cup of punch. He thought it was the third. Might have been the fourth though.

"I don't know", Blaine said.

"Let's wait for a slow song and dance extra gay", Sam said. "We could also make out but I guess that wouldn't be okay with Kurt."

Blaine frowned. "You're getting in over your head now, Sam. Do you… is it… uhm…"

He glanced around and leaned to Sam so that he still could hear him as he quietly went on.

"Is he here? Your crush?"

Sam puckered his lips, nodded and drank another gulp.

"With a girl?"

Sam nodded again.

"Oh", Blaine sighed. "I'm sorry."

Sam shrugged. He didn't dare to look at Ryder who had last been seen close to the stage. But Sam hadn't lied, he would dance with Blaine. Well, without the making out. For that he'd wait for… well, someone else. People, you know. No one in specific.

Sam went to the buffet to get another drink. He glanced at Stoner Brett and wondered why on earth he had been nominated for prom king when Sam hadn't. Was Sam really that much worse than him? Was that how everybody viewed him? Weirder and messier than Stoner Brett?

"So." Suddenly Ryder's voice flew into Sam's ear and went right into his dick. Now _that_ was weird.

"You're here with Blaine."

"Platonically", Sam said.

Ryder just looked at him. Sam hadn't forgotten they were standing at the buffet so he glanced around to look if anybody wanted to come here and get drinks of food or…

"If it never has been about him, then what did you want to tell me?" Ryder asked.

"Uhm, really? You want to talk _here?_"

Ryder stared for another moment then he shook his head as if to wake himself and turned around. Sam frowned but did not follow him. Now and here really was not the best place.

Still, when he returned to Blaine Sam's mood was much better. He smiled (not because of the alcohol) and hummed along with the band that was playing.

"You want to dance now?" Sam asked.

Blaine laughed. "What, you really meant it?"

"Yeah, really! Come on!"

Sam grabbed his best friend's hand and dragged him along. Now Blaine could've protested or stopped it but he didn't. They came to the dance floor and Sam waited for somebody to look at them so that he could stare them down. But (and he almost was sad about it) he didn't get the chance.

Later Stoner Brett and Tina were elected for prom king and queen. Blaine wasn't too sad that he hadn't won. He actually wanted to dance again and then told Sam that he didn't view him as worse than Stoner Brett.

And for now, Sam could live with that.

* * *

Came the next week everything changed. Ryder wore the grumpiest expression ever when Sam saw him in the halls and in the classes he wouldn't answer the question what was going on. This charade went on until Wednesday actually, after Sam cashed in his first Slushie in months.

He came out of Geography when the sticky ice-cold stuff hit his face and frightened him to death. After Monday and Tuesday had gone down bully-free he had dared to hope he'd get away for having gone to prom with another boy.

"That's for rubbing it in our faces, faggot!"

They laughed and scuffled away. Sam wiped his eyes and blinked until he could see at least a bit. A sharp pain flood through his eyes and head. He had forgotten how bad Slushies were.

"Those assholes", he heard Ryder saying.

"Yeah, uhm, do you have a tissue?"

"Sure."

Ryder guided him to a nearby bathroom and pressed paper towels into his hand. Sam washed out his eyes and hair and only when the pain had calmed down a bit did he turn to Ryder.

But he didn't know what to say. He couldn't ask again what was going on with Ryder and Unique.

"Thanks", Sam said.

"That was really mean. No one should get bullied for their sexual orientation."

Was that, like, asking for affirmation? Ryder knew Sam had not been on a date on Friday and other than that he had no clues as to what Sam was thinking all day long… right? Should he tell him? He had gotten bullied for it so what did it matter now if he told friends who would be okay with it…?

"Uhm, yeah, thanks", Sam said again. He turned to the sink and threw away the paper towels. No. He couldn't… well, what should he say? He wasn't really gay or bisexual. Maybe it was a phase he went through.

Sam glanced at the brunette boy who held his eyes.

"I'm… I want to apologize", Ryder said. "I was rude in the last days, wasn't I?"

"A bit." Sam cleared his throat, his voice had sounded scratchy.

"I was in the worst mood ever because…" Ryder shrugged and fumbled with the strap of his bag. "Unique has told me she had viewed Friday as a friend's thing. Not an actual date. And she doesn't want that. She… well, I have to admit I wasn't the nicest guy after I found out it was her. My Katie, you know, the internet girlfriend?"

Sam nodded. "You freaked out, dude."

Ryder smiled one-sided. "Yeah. Yeah, I did."

"Do you still want to, uh, talk?"

"Uhm, yeah, I guess. You'll come over tonight?"

"Uhu." Sam looked at the sink and wiped over the surface. Ryder mumbled a goodbye and left the bathroom. As soon as the door was closed a grin spread on Sam's face. He gathered his things together as fast as never before, stuffed the paper towels into the bin and threw his bag over his shoulder. He almost ran down the hall, dodged some people and stormed into the choir room. It was still fifteen minutes until Glee so only some people were here, like Marley doing some reading, Unique doing some gossiping or whatever she did with her phone and Blaine playing, as expected, the piano.

"Dude! Whoa, you won't believe it!"

Sam sat down next to Blaine who had no other option left than to stop playing and glide to the right to make some space.

"What!? Has something happened?"

"Yes! Oh man!" Sam grinned. He glanced around again to make sure Ryder hadn't come in. He caught Unique's curious look but that didn't matter since she wouldn't hear anything. And to be fair it was her doing that had made things happen now, so yeah, Sam liked her.

Sam leaned to Blaine's ear.

"I'm going to see him later. I don't know, it's nothing and I wouldn't even want something but somehow I still feel good about it, you know? Like really good, like the sun is shining in my heart and cheesy stuff like that!"

"I'm so glad for –"

"And his smile is, like, well… the sun shining in his face."

Blaine chuckled. He laid a hand on the keyboard and pressed a few random notes.

"You're actually crushing on a boy. Wow."

"It's weird, right?"

Blaine shrugged. "If it makes you feel good, why not?"

Sam observed his friend's profile. Blaine was so humble all the time, and accepting. He could've said Sam wasn't allowed to be gay because one of them had to be straight. Or he could've been offended that Sam hadn't turned gay for him a few months before (not that it would've stopped him from proposing to Kurt, right?). Or told Sam to take things slow because phase and stuff. But all he did was smile and tell Sam he could do and feel whatever he wanted.

"You're the best, bro", Sam said, squeezing Blaine's shoulder.

Blaine laughed and shook his head. But he looked at Sam who held his eyes, silently telling Blaine he meant it. But Blaine knew it anyway, it wasn't like Sam never told him about his feelings… Feelings of awesomeness!

Someone cleared his throat. Sam's eyes flew to Kitty who just took a seat. She looked at him, too, but curiously enough didn't say anything. So Sam shrugged it off. More and more people from Glee club came in and Sam and Blaine went to the normal seats, too. Sam couldn't really concentrate because Ryder was sitting a few chairs further down the row.

* * *

Naturally things got very awkward when Sam went over. However, Ryder was good in just pretending it wasn't.

"Okay, now talk."

"Why do you always insist on me talking? The focus is on you, man."

Ryder nodded and opened a bag of wine gums that he threw on his bed between them.

"_I_ was questioning things because of Unique. But you never said why _you_ are so curious about… stuff like that. Gay stuff. But seriously, Sam, uhm… You…"

Sam crossed his arms and held Ryder's look no matter how much heat it stirred up in his body. He should let Ryder off the hook and say it but… he couldn't. It was one thing with Blaine but something completely different with cute boys who might think Sam was, like, an attention whore.

Ryder looked at the goodies in his hands.

"I know you said it's not about Blaine but are you, uhm, sure?"

Sam narrowed his eyes. What? Again? Why the hell… how on earth… was this like a big prank of everybody in Glee club?

"I mean the way you look at him… Like today, when I came to Glee and you both were on the piano bench…" Ryder said.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Blaine is engaged, he _loves_ Kurt! Can't two guys be friends, seriously? Yes, I am having some bi-feelings but sure enough _not_ about Blaine. It's about –"

Sam bit his lip and looked at the desk a few feet away. He just couldn't, it wouldn't leave his mouth no matter how much he wanted to say it. Ryder would laugh and then throw him out.

But when Sam looked at the brunette boy he didn't even smile, he was totally serious.

"Me?"

The hottest of all waves rushed through Sam and lit his face. He couldn't even nod. All he did was watch his fingers and wait until it went away. Unfortunately, it didn't.

"Okay." Ryder cleared his throat. "I, uh… I kind of got that feeling but I didn't want to believe it."

"It's weird, I know."

All that times they had joked around like normal bros did. Played a video game, talked about school and dyslexia stuff. It had been so ordinary and normal and now Sam… he had destroyed it all, hadn't he? Nothing would ever be the same anymore. Oh God, how hadn't he considered this _before_ babbling?

"I'm… I'm straight, Sam."

"I never asked anything from you!"

"You're my bro."

"I know, man!"

"When I'm with Unique I feel like I'm with a girl. I'm not even a bit gay. And I can stop wondering about _why Unique_ now anyway and go on dating normal girls."

Sam raised his eyebrows. "So you're… back to your old self? No creep outs at all?"

"None whatsoever."

"Okay. Well. I… as I said I don't ask anything from you. It's just, you know… nothing strong. Nothing has to change, right?"

Ryder frowned. "I might be wrong but it already has."

"What? No! We're bros! I won't act on anything. And, I mean, aren't you at least flattered? See, it's actually something good!"

Sam nodded enthusiastically but Ryder looked as if someone had told him he had to shower with ice cold water for the rest of his life.

"Even if you don't act on it… I mean I know now. How could I not think about it? How... and why would I be flattered? You're a guy, it's weird. I'd be flattered with girls. I don't like the thought of dudes thinking about me and…"

"Whoa. Okay." Sam abruptly stood and grabbed his bag. Yeah, he had destroyed everything. Shit, he was the biggest dumbass there was in the whole world!

"I didn't mean it like that!" Ryder quickly said. "I'm not offended or disgusted if you think that now! It's okay. It's just…"

"Weird, I get it", Sam said. He went to the door and left the house as fast as he had left the bathroom in school earlier. But this time his chest was heavy and his breathing came hard. No sun was shining anymore. See, it _was_ the same as with girls! People rejected Sam, all they did was rejecting him! Maybe he was a Stoner Brett after all! What now!? Would anybody ever love him? _Really_ love him, first choice, big love and everything. No, probably not, why would they.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you so much for reviewing :-)

* * *

Chapter 4

Meeting Ryder in school was weird. Sam tried not to look at him but it was inevitable they saw each other in the halls, in classes or in Glee club. It was just… embarrassing. Like the time he had realised Quinn had cheated on him. He felt like he deserved this treatment or getting rejected but he didn't know what he had done to deserve it.

After the third period the clouds over Sam's head hadn't lifted. He should go home, what's the sense of it anyway? He put a book into his locker and sighed.

"Here. Eat that."

Sam watched a hand with a piece of chocolate appear in front of his face. He frowned and shook his head.

"I can't eat junk food when I'm sad. That's not good. That's… love replacement", Sam said.

Blaine smiled empathetically.

"So what? It's okay to do that. And of course that's not your only cure."

"What is my cure then?" Sam asked. He took the chocolate and put it into his mouth. So what, true words. If no one loved him with a perfect body it didn't matter when he screwed that body up, right?

"Bro-night in?" Blaine said.

"Are you sure about that? I would understand if you wouldn't want to be my friend anymore."

"I am perfectly sure."

Sam shrugged. Blaine's decision when he wanted to hang out with losers. He must've been really crazy. He had people like Kurt to talk to so why did he even bother with Sam?

"Blainey-Days!"

Sam rolled his eyes at the sound of the voice. He turned to his locker and tried to ignore Tina, who started babbling at Blaine for no reason. Or, well, for the reason she had been elected prom queen and now more than ever thought she was better than everybody else.

"Oh yeah, sounds good!" Blaine said. "You're coming too, Sam?"

"What?"

"I'm throwing a prom queen party. Because I am the prom queen. If you want to attend you have to bring me a gift", Tina said. "It's tomorrow at eight at my place."

Sam looked at her without really knowing what to say.

"We'll be there, Tina", Blaine promised.

"I didn't –" Sam said.

"Good! Don't forget my present!" Tina turned around and walked away.

"I didn't say I'd go", Sam said.

"But you have to. I mean, you can't stay home alone and drown in self-pity."

"Oh, yes, I can!" Sam slammed his locker door and was about to turn around but then remembered something.

"Today's still on, right?"

* * *

"Now… What happened?" Blaine asked after Sam had made himself comfortable on the bed of the black haired boy. Lots of chocolates and chips were lying around them.

"Well, I got rejected, what else? When ever happens something else?"

"Oh Sam", Blaine sighed.

"Don't say I'm going to find someone someday. Don't." Sam took a handful of Cheetos and put it into his mouth.

"But you will. And look, now you know you also like boys so –"

"Nooo, it was an experiment and it failed. I'm sticking to girls now."

"How would you know it failed when he didn't give you any chance to do something?"

Sam felt Saturday night heat creeping up his neck. "What? I don't want to… do… stuff! Just…"

He shrugged. Who was he kidding? Of course he wanted to do stuff. But the image of it still was so frightening and weird and… he'd back out whenever (if ever) he'd got an opportunity. He knew it.

Blaine shifted on the bed and opened a chocolate bar. "Well, who was it, anyway? If you want to tell me."

Sam distorted his face in advance for the upcoming embarrassment. "Ryder."

Blaine lifted his eyebrows.

"Wha- Really?"

Sam shrugged.

"Oh. That's… something I wouldn't have guessed. You and him always seemed so… goofy and… brotherly", Blaine said.

"Well, you can't tell about a relationship by simply looking at it. I mean people always think _we_ are dating but we aren't."

"To be fair I _did_ sing you a love song once."

"Oh yeah… Damn, I should've discovered I like boys back then already."

Blaine laughed awkwardly but Sam propped himself on his elbows and studied his friends face.

"Just curious, uh, would you… have gone back to Kurt nonetheless? If I had said yes?"

Blaine pursed his lips and looked at his hands.

"I don't know", he mumbled.

"I think you would've", Sam said. He lay back on the bed and looked at the ceiling. As great as Blaine was even he couldn't love Sam like that.

They fell silent for a while. Eventually Blaine got out some comic books and they talked about the possibility of real life kryptonite. Sam insisted that you could never know what was out there in this huge endless universe and Blaine had no other option left than to agree to this unbeatable logic.

* * *

"There is no sense in going to Tina's party. Why would I go? I'd have to buy her a gift and see Ryder."

"You don't have to buy her a gift, we give her this together", Blaine said, holding up a wrapped box.

"What is it?"

Tonight they were in Sam's room because Sam refused to leave his house and Blaine had stopped by unannounced. Not very polite, right!?

"It's a CD collection of Tina Turner."

"Haha, get it, because they have the same first name."

"Uh… sure, if you want to see it that way", Blaine said. He put the box on the bed side table and sat down on the edge of Sam's bed. "Well and about Ryder… you'll see him in school anyway. You can't run away from him."

"I know", Sam mumbled. He was sitting at his desk because he had done homework. Yes, things like that needed to be done, too. It was a good distraction.

"Or do you have any other plans for tonight?" Blaine asked.

"Yes, I do. Watching Star Wars for the hundredth time. Hundred is an important number, it asks for a celebration", Sam said, whirling around in his chair.

Blaine pouted. "And you'd do that without me?"

"Huh." Sam pursed his lips. That so wasn't fair; Blaine used his superpowers to persuade Sam. _So unfair!_

"Come on, Sam." Blaine got up and to the cupboard. "You can even wear a Captain America T-shirt."

"Are you sure Tina won't pass out at the sight of that?"

"Positive. She said she wants gifts but she didn't say there is a dress code, right?"

Sam waggled his head. He still wasn't sure…

"And since there will be alcohol and Ryder has no hope for Unique maybe he'll want to try and kiss you?" Blaine said.

Sam pointed at him. "Stop lying."

Blaine grinned. "All I'm saying is that it's possible."

Did this possibility really exist? And would Sam want it, knowing he'd be an experiment and nothing more? But… Ryder would be an experiment for Sam as well. So yes, why not. Alright. He jumped up and pulled his shirt over his head to change clothes.

* * *

The party wasn't as bad as Sam had feared, at least not in the first hours. He drank some punch, danced around and talked to people, everything while _not_ hoping for Ryder to come to talk to him.

Then Tina announced they'd play _Seven Minutes In Heaven_. No one was allowed to refuse (though everybody looked like they wanted to) and her first closet-victim was Ryder. Sam held his breath because under normal fateful circumstances he'd be chosen as second person now and he and Ryder would have an awkward time in the closet until eventually kissing and feeling all the fireworks.

"And now…" Tina looked over the crowd. Sam pretended to not care and sipped on his punch.

"Kitty!" Tina exclaimed and pulled the blonde girl up. The Cheerio smirked and vanished in the closet.

"Wait, what?" Sam said. "How… Something went horribly wrong."

"Oh honey, don't be afraid. I told him I don't want him", Unique, who sat next to Sam on the couch, said.

"The Seven-Minutes-In-Heaven-Gods have abandoned me", Sam mumbled. Unique patted his shoulder. Then she leaned to Marley and talked to her.

Would they really kiss now? Was Kitty going after Ryder for real? What was happening?

It probably were the seven longest minutes in Sam's life until Tina rushed to the closet door and opened it with the words: "I hope your lips are kissy-kissy red or you'll get some more minutes!"

"Oh please. I don't spend time with a boy in a closet without making out. I do have a reputation to uphold", Kitty said when she came out. She looked _very_ satisfied. Ryder on the other hand not only had red lips but also cheeks and vanished into the crowd as fast as possible. Sam gulped and drank from his punch.

"Now it's my turn to pick two people, right?" Kitty asked.

"If you –"

"Blaine!" Kitty shouted without listening to Tina.

Blaine, who had been dancing, froze immediately and looked as frightened as if someone had told him he would die the next day.

"No, I can't! I'm engaged and you know it!"

"Seriously, Blaine? You freak out about a _party kiss_? This doesn't even count as a kiss. It counts as partying."

Blaine shook his head. But Kitty dragged him to the closet and, together with Tina, managed to shove him in. They quickly closed the door and leaned against it. Sam snickered. Who was Blaine supposed to make out with now, himself? Those girls were not only mean but also stupid.

"Sam!" Kitty pointed at him, her eyes narrowed, while Tina looked in shock at her.

"What? Sam?"

"Yes, Sam. Who else?"

"What is it?" Sam asked. Now both girls looked at him as if they thought _he_ was dumb.

"Come here", Kitty said.

Sam raised his eyebrows. Oh… this again? Well, he might as well get in there and spare Blaine the trouble of freaking out.

Sam sighed, got up and was pushed into the closet way too hard. The door locked behind him and all he heard was giggling girls.

"I won't", Blaine said somewhere in the dark.

"Dude, relax, it's me", Sam said and leaned against the left wall.

"Oh." Blaine sighed with relief. "I honestly thought Tina would…"

"I think she would've wanted to but Kitty chose me. She probably thinks she's doing us a favour."

Sam's eyes adjusted to the dark. It wasn't the biggest closet. When he'd stretch out his arm he could touch Blaine who was leaning against a coat.

"Do you think Kitty is right?" Sam whispered.

"About?"

"That _Seven Minutes In Heaven_ don't count as real kisses."

"Why?"

Sam bit his lip. He couldn't find Blaine's eyes in the dark. He was incredible, wasn't he? So _desperate_, oh my God. Had he just suggested kissing his best friend? It would be _euw_. And weird. But then again Sam felt like they should, like they had to just once, just to clear up that there wasn't anything whatsoever between them. Not that there could be but… but… hypothetically, you know?

Sam didn't answer and Blaine didn't ask again, so they were silent for the next minutes. Now _those_ were the longest minutes in Sam's whole life.

"The time has to be over now", eventually Blaine whispered. He stepped to the door and knocked against it.

"Still two minutes left, Blainey, and since you apparently haven't even started yet I think we'll make that another seven minutes", Kitty's voice said.

"Kitty, stop being a dick and let us out!" Blaine said. This time there was no answer. Sam laid his head back and sighed.

"We might as well do it", he said. He couldn't see Blaine's face but the sudden movement the other boy made told him enough about how surprised he must've been.

"What?"

"Aren't you curious? After… well, you know? And now I'm gay so…"

"You're not gay, Sam. You're experimenting some… curiosity…"

"It's enough." Sam shrugged.

"Maybe… Do you think I owe it to Kurt to clear this up?" Blaine quietly said. "So I can marry him with the knowledge there is clearly no one else out there for me but him? Otherwise I might always think about the what-ifs when it comes to you."

Sam nodded. "Yes, that sounds… logical?"

"Okay."

Sam's heart started to race as if that had been a trigger word. They had just agreed to kiss. Yeah, alright, okay. He pushed himself away from the wall and immediately stood in front of Blaine whose body radiated warmth and whose hair smelled like raspberry. He also wore some kind of cologne. Sam inhaled it and instinctively leaned down a bit, his nose meeting Blaine's soft temple.

The other boy shivered. His fingers lightly touched Sam's waist as if not sure if they should be there. His breathing came unsteady. Sam laid his hand on Blaine's chest and felt the beating of his heart. Wow, it was nice being so close. Have they ever been… they must've been close before, right? But probably in the daylight and not with the intent to pay only attention to each other. This clearly was the first time they were that ridiculously intimate. But why, after all they were best friends. They should've been like that before!

Sam closed his eyes. He let his hand wander higher until he touched the skin of Blaine's neck. Blaine gulped and breathed out with a quiet noise. Sam went higher still until his hand cupped Blaine's jaw. Okay, enough foreplay now, he wanted… he needed…

"No", Blaine whispered and he leaned back a bit. "I can't. It would be cheating, it would be. I'm sorry."

Sam couldn't believe it. What? But he… he still could sense Blaine's skin and smell him and feel his chest moving against Sam's body…

"I'm sorry, Sam." Blaine stepped back and broke the body contact. Sam swallowed hard and nodded. He drove his hands over his face and mouth. Nothing had happened and it was okay. He needed a drink now, though.

"I'm sorry", Blaine repeated.

"It's okay."

"Hey." Blaine came to him again and grasped his hand, intertwining their fingers. Sam breathed in deeply. It was okay, it really was… Oh God, what was Blaine doing? He leaned closer again and pressed his mouth against Sam's cheek. Shit, so hot. Sam instinctively gripped Blaine's waist with his free hand and held him close.

"Do you like that?" Blaine's words thrust against Sam's cheek. He nodded and might… or might not have whimpered a little bit. Blaine chuckled in answer and his mouth was back, oh so gently kissing Sam's cheek. It was just a cheek kiss but Sam melted to the ground. He actually melted, seriously, nothing was left inside of him. Just Blaine. His best friend. His amazing, adorable best friend. This moment could last forever now.

But no, it didn't. Blaine stepped back again and made Sam's insides go all cold. Well, he still held his hand and Sam wouldn't let go so soon but… no more kisses. No more intimacy... Wait.

Sam took back his hand and drove over his mouth. What the hell was going on? Of course no more kisses! This was Blaine… fuck! Engaged, having-a-fiancé-he-loved-and-always-would-be-with-Blaine.

"I'm sorry", Sam said. "I should have never asked this of you."

"No, no, no, Sam, it's okay. I get where it was coming from. And I agreed because, well…" Blaine sighed.

"Yeah… Well, nothing has happened so your conscience stays clear", Sam quickly said to prevent any freak out from Blaine's side. He swallowed heavy again. Down with that silly feeling that he still wanted to try something. Down with the memory of silky lips on his cheeks. Down with it all.

"Okaaaaay!" Kitty tore open the door so suddenly the light blended Sam. He held up a hand to protect his eyes and followed Blaine outside.

"So I really was wrong?" Kitty asked. "You didn't do it… ever?"

"No, Kitty, we didn't. I'm in love with Kurt and I really don't know how often I have to say it until someone believes me."

"I believe you!" Tina said.

"Thank you, Tina!" Blaine shot Kitty a glare and went away, not even glancing once at Sam. He puckered his lips and went to the couch, picking up his cup. With three big gulps he had emptied it and went to fill it up. Time to forget what had happened in the closet. Even when, in fact, nothing had happened. At all.

* * *

A/N And now, my friends, we will jump into the future to New York! yaaaay.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you so much for your reviews and for reading! :-) Elliot has arrived yey! xD

* * *

Chapter 5

* * *

_TIME JUMP ONE AND A HALF YEAR_

* * *

Sam put two plates and glasses with straws on it on the tray, as well as the bill the people had left. No tips. He mumbled under his breath, wiped over the table and went back to the bar.

"Hey, hey, not so lovelessly", Elliot commented as Sam put the glasses into the sink.

"Mind your own business", Sam said.

Elliot stopped inspecting the alcohol bottles (which sure as hell was no task the boss had given him) and frowned at Sam.

"When was the last time you got laid?"

"I _said_ mind your own business!" Sam hoped he wasn't red now because it was totally teenager-like to blush at the mention of sex. He was a grown-up now.

"Who says you're not my business?" Elliot smirked and went back to work. As always Sam ignored his flirt attempts. Because that's what it was, right? It's not that he didn't like Elliot just… just… he was a _guy_. Sam wasn't bi anymore. His phase had ended after high school. If he was exact he hadn't even had a phase because nothing had ever happened with anybody.

"Oh my God. You go and take their orders. I can't right now", Elliot said. Sam looked up and saw Kurt and Blaine settling down on a table.

"I'm doing the dishes; you're sneaking around the Vodka. I think you take their orders", Sam said just to get back at Elliot. He stopped fumbling the bottles, alright, but only to come to Sam and stand really close to him.

"I can't face Kurt right now. Please."

Wow, Elliot pleaded. When had that ever happened? Sam ignored the inappropriate closeness and looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"Why can't you face him?"

"I'm telling you after you took their orders."

Sam frowned but gave in. He dried his hands and took his note pad.

"Welcome to _Spotlight Diner_, what can I do for you?" he said as he stood in front of his friends table. Blaine looked up and smiled.

"Hey, Sam! How are you?"

"We're sharing a pizza, right, Blaine?" Kurt asked.

Sam doodled on his pad while his friends discussed the toppings. He knew he was making a fuzz over it but whenever he was in both of their presence he felt something was off. Kurt wasn't treating Blaine the way Sam had always thought a fiancé would treat his one true love. Sam just didn't feel it. But he was in no position to judge or interfere. It was their relationship and their choices.

When he had told the chef to bake a pizza and was getting the drinks he questioningly looked at Elliot.

"Now?"

"Okay, well, I dreamt of Kurt."

Sam narrowed his eyes at the soft-drink-machine. "So?"

"It was an explicit dream."

"Explicit…"

"Yes. A sex dream. I'd blush like hell if I stood in front of him now."

Sam didn't know if he should laugh or be disgusted. Who'd dream that way about _Kurt_? But his gloating impulse won and he smirked.

"Well, well, well. Someone has a crush."

"Duh."

Sam put a glass with Sprite down and turned to Elliot. "What? Seriously?"

"Yes, Sam. I'm struck with undying love for someone who is engaged; just like you."

Sam raised his eyebrows. "Wow, and I almost believed you."

"What, what? I mean it, I swear, no joking around!" Elliot put a hand on his heart and held the other into the air.

"I'm not in love with anybody", Sam said.

Now it was Elliot's time to disbelievingly raise his eyebrows. "What?"

"Disappointed?"

"I'm just… wow. Can anybody be _that_ oblivious?" Elliot mumbled. Sam frowned once again and decided to let his friend live out whatever weird attack had come over him. He brought the drinks to his friends and told them the pizza would be ready soon. When he came back to the bar Elliot shot him another fake-astonished look but Sam chose to ignore it. He rather pondered over the fact that Elliot loved Kurt.

"Since when?" he asked.

"Huh?"

Sam glanced at their friends' table and lowered his voice.

"Since when do you love him?"

"Since pretty much from the beginning? I came to New York to be in his band so…"

"Wait, what? How did you know him then?"

"Sam, Kurt has a pretty strong Youtube presentation. Never took a look at it?" Elliot leaned sideways against the bar and glanced at their friends from time to time.

"Uh, no. I didn't know that. Blaine never told me."

"Well, you should. He's amazing. And when he announced he was looking for someone for his band I went for it. Of course I also tried to get into NYADA. They wouldn't take me so NYU it was. But hey, it worked. I know Kurt personally now and, well, he's gorgeous and fantastic. My crush turned into something deeper pretty fast. Bored yet?"

"Sounds like the lamest story ever, yeah. Especially since you'll never get him." Sam put the last clean glass on the counter and wiped it with a towel.

"See, that's where you come in. You are my hope, Sam. My saviour."

"I am – what?"

"Can't let you in on the details yet that you would know if you'd paid attention to your own feelings. But we'll get there. Hey, do you want to get a drink after work?" Elliot winked and Sam looked down.

"Why do you – if you love Kurt?"

"Oh a little flirt will do no one harm. Especially you."

"What's that supposed to mean now?"

"You know what it means. So?"

"I'm not gay", Sam mumbled. Elliot snorted way too loud so Sam shot him a furious glance.

"How long have you been in New York now?" Elliot asked.

"About sixteen months, what does that have to do with anything?"

"How often have you been to gay clubs with us?"

"I didn't count, man! I don't have to be gay to go to clubs!"

"I just thought… Oh wow." Elliot wiped over his forehead and shook his head. Sam decided to let him have his fun. Because that was what he did, right, making a fool out of Sam for no reason. He wasn't gay or bi because he had never done anything with a guy. And that was the definition, right?

* * *

NYADA was the biggest school ever. Sam was glad he didn't go here because whoa, he would totally get lost. Every day. He didn't even dare to go further than the entrance hall when he waited for one of his friends. What he did, though, was taking a look at the advertising pillar and pretending like he was a student looking for a job. It was a cool thing to do.

"Hey", a brunette said with a smile. Sam smiled back. Yeah, girls still dug him.

"I was thinking if that was something for you?" She gave him a paper and with the expectation of it being her number he took it. But it wasn't. It actually was a job offer.

"Mhmh", he said. "I'll think about it."

She smiled and went away. Wait, what? She actually just wanted him to get the job offer? Sam took a closer look at it. They were looking for a model for a drawing class. A nude model.

"Hey, Sam. Found something interesting?" Blaine stood next to him and Sam briefly smiled at him.

"Mh, maybe." He gave Blaine the paper.

"I'm not sure about the nude part", Sam said.

"I think you get to wear briefs", Blaine said. "Rachel told me about her art class last year. And hey, you could totally pull it off."

"I know I could, Blaine. I'm fit _and_ hot."

Blaine nodded and gave him the paper back.

"Well, send in your application."

"I will. And also for this!" Sam grasped a paper that read '_library assistant needed'_. "Because if I work in the library you could come see me there every day and it would be fun."

Blaine chuckled. He could not deny it, though, the day was a little better when they saw each other. And that didn't happen every day anymore since Blaine was living with Kurt so yeah, Sam would apply.

"I think I got asked out today", Sam said while he put the papers into his jacket pocket and they walked onto the street.

"You think?" Blaine asked.

"Asking if you want to get a drink is asking someone out, right? And Elliot kind of flirts with me all the time, so, yeah, I'm pretty sure."

"_Elliot?_" Blaine goggled at Sam, who returned the look.

"What's wrong with Elliot?"

"I just… He's a guy."

Sam bit his lip. Yeah, he had told Blaine he was back to being straight after Tina's prom queen party. Of course that had been a lie if you counted thoughts during Saturday night actions in but by definition it had been true. Just now… Sam still didn't know for sure. Maybe he could try something with Elliot. And since Elliot was in love with Kurt, anyway, there was no risk of getting too close and having to deal with hurt feelings.

"So what?" he eventually answered Blaine's look. "Remember high school?"

"How could I not", Blaine mumbled while he pushed the button of a traffic light. Sam still didn't know what Blaine's deal was but he always waited at the traffic lights until the signal went green. Everybody else didn't care and Sam felt so silly waiting for the green signal. As if he was a child. He only did it when he was with Blaine, too.

Now Blaine turned to him again. "So, you're, uh… bi again? Or what? I mean I don't judge. I just want to know."

Sam sighed and looked across the street. How would he know, honestly?

"I guess I want to find out", he said.

Finally the signal went green and they started walking.

"Well, you _did_ go to senior prom with another guy", Blaine said.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean anything. Cause, you know, the guy I went with was like, so gorgeous even straight guys would have wanted to go out with him."

Blaine smiled dismissingly and nudged Sam's arm. "Come on, you know that's not true."

"It _is_ true." Sam opened the door to the restaurant they had headed for and let Blaine go in first. Seriously, the black haired man underestimated himself way too much. Sam sometimes wondered why Kurt didn't give him any compliments (at least not when Sam was around) so he figured it wouldn't harm if he did it. He meant it, after all.

"You're the perfect gentleman, Sam. Elliot is a lucky guy", Blaine said as he got out of his jacket. Sam did the same and hung his jacket on the wardrobe.

"Well, right now you're the lucky guy who gets to dine with me."

It was just their usual Asian restaurant, nothing too fancy but sure as hell fancier than the common chip shop you found everywhere. Rachel had gotten them into Asian food since she claimed people of this decent where the best vegan chefs ever. Sam didn't care about the vegan but he agreed with the good food factor.

"Oh, you mean this is a date? If I had known I would've done something with my hair", Blaine joked.

"Your hair is just fine." Before Sam could say more a waiter appeared.

"Good day." The Asian man bowed slightly.

"Hey", Sam said. "Can I get a table for me and my date?" He put his arm around Blaine's shoulders and grinned at him.

"Of course, just follow me." The waiter turned around.

"Does that mean you're paying?" Blaine asked.

"You wish, Anderson. I'm a poor unsuccessful model."

"And I'm a poor student."

They followed the waiter to a table for two and settled down. He lit the candle between them, gave them menus and asked if they knew what they wanted to drink. After he had gone Sam opened his menu and scanned the food. Duck always sounded good.

The time flew by and soon Blaine had to start for NYADA again. Sam's shift in the diner would begin a few hours later so he might as well write the applications in between.

"You know what's funny?" Blaine asked as they exited the restaurant. The icy November air immediately surrounded them and Sam pulled the zipper of his jacket as far up as possible.

"What?"

"On days I and Kurt have a free period together we always go to the Spotlight where you happen to work at this time of the day. And when I don't share my free period with Kurt you are free so we can go somewhere."

"So?" Sam tried not to think too much about Kurt. Blaine spent his nights with him and wasn't in for movies as often as in high school anymore so yeah, it was only natural that Sam held a little grudge against Kurt. Sometimes he wished Blaine was all his. Not in a romantic way but… well, all his. Like in senior year. Oh, if that only had never ended.

"All I'm saying is…" Blaine linked arms with Sam as they strolled back to the university. "That I see you every day during my break."

"And that's something bad…?"

"No, silly. I'm glad about it. I'm glad we're still friends because sometimes life after school gets in the way and people lose touch."

"Blaine, the day I lose touch with you is the day I die."

"Oh God, Sam, I didn't mean to give you an opportunity to be as dramatic as you could."

"What, you don't believe me?"

"Of course I do just… don't talk about dying, okay?"

Sam looked at Blaine as they, once again, waited for a green signal.

"Do you have, like, issues with death?"

"Is it so hard to understand that I don't want to imagine my best friend's death?"

"Mh." Sam pursed his lip. Everybody had to die so why not be prepared? But apparently Blaine wanted to ignore it. They walked on and soon came to NYADA's doors. Blaine let go of Sam and rubbed his hands.

"Here's where I get off."

"Will you come over tonight?"

"I can't, I'm sorry. I promised Kurt to cook for him."

"Oh, yeah." Sam bit his lip and nodded. "Well, maybe I'll go out with Elliot then."

"Yeah, do that."

Sam's lip started to hurt. So Blaine had no problem with him going out with Elliot? Why not? Wasn't he supposed to be… like… '_oh Sam, it will make you have less time for me'_?

But he wasn't. He smiled and waved and vanished into the big building. Well. Sam would go out with Elliot then. Yeah, why not.

* * *

"Hey, Elliot, remember when you asked me about that drink yesterday?"

Sam winked at his mirror image and answered himself with a disguised voice.

"Why, of course I remember, Sam. You're the hottest guy ever."

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Gilbert."

"Sam? Are you talking to me?" a voice screamed from outside the bathroom. Sam rolled his eyes to the mirror and took the liberty to not answer. Couldn't a dude practise flirting with another dude peacefully without getting interrupted by his roommate?

But it was time to go now. Hopefully he would be able to utter something when he saw Elliot. Thinking back to high school Sam had not been very charming when it had come to his first and so far only boy crush Ryder Lynn. But Elliot was gay so maybe he could lead Sam through the mysterious lands of men love… or something like that.

"I'm off now", Sam informed Rachel, who was sitting on the couch with her laptop on her knees.

"Sam, I see you have letters for NYADA? Are you applying?"

"Yes, but not for the school. For jobs."

"Oh, that's a pity! You could make something out of your voice if you put enough energy and practise into it! Insistency is the key! Vocal training can do wonders, I tell you."

"Mh, yeah, no time. Bye."

Sam quickly escaped the loft. Rachel was so annoying with her talk about '_do something with your life'_ and _'don't be stuck with something that seemed promising in the beginning but turned out to be a dead end'_. How would she know Sam's big breakthrough as a model wasn't just around the next corner, huh?

Anyway, he had enough trouble with his momentarily non-existing love life. But today would change everything, yes, it would!


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you for R&R. A little bit shorter today but relax, tomorrow there will be more! :-)

* * *

Chapter 6

The afternoon shift wasn't great because it was the busiest one. Sam didn't get to talk to Elliot for more than a minute in between. They also were working together with Kurt because in the afternoon three people were needed so yeah, not much opportunity for date-talk.

Until Elliot just went for it. Sam suspected he tried to get Kurt jealous but how would that work, anyway, since Kurt was in love with Blaine.

"So, hey, Sam, have you thought about that drink?" Elliot said when Sam came back from taking an order and Kurt was busy drying glasses. Now he looked up in surprise and Sam, too, was taken aback.

"Uh, yeah, I actually have. Can we talk about it in private?"

"Wait, what is happening?" Kurt asked.

"Just a little something-something", Elliot said with a wink to Kurt.

"A little something-what now?"

"Flirt at work. Bureau affair. Whatever you want to call it", Elliot said.

"I want to call it '_are you insane'_? And since when is Sam gay, anyway?" Now Kurt stopped his work completely and almost reproachfully stared at Sam.

"Uh, I'm not gay", he said. Kurt raised his eyebrows while Elliot came to Sam and hit his shoulder.

"He's bi. Or, you know, wants to be. I'll help him get there."

"No. You can't be", Kurt said.

"Why not?" Sam asked.

"Because… because…"

"Yeah, why not, Kurt?" Elliot said. "Everybody is a little bi. That's my motto."

The chef announced that some orders where ready and Sam went to bring it to the costumers. When he came back Kurt was busy again while Elliot had gone to other customers. The topic wasn't addressed again until later when Elliot – this time waiting until Kurt was out of earshot – told Sam time and place of where they would meet. Great cooperation! Sam liked having not to shit himself when asking for a date.

"Sam… Can I talk to you?" Kurt asked not much later. Sam glanced to Elliot who was serving people and shrugged.

"Sure?"

"Come here. Come." Kurt nodded to the side and went to the back of the bar. Sam followed him and crossed his arms as he placed himself in front of Kurt, who drove a hand over his face.

"But you're not… What made you think you could be bi? Did ever something happen… in high school… between you and…" Kurt stopped and waited for an answer. Sam frowned, not sure if Kurt was talking about a specific person. But then again Blaine had probably told him everything and Kurt knew about Ryder.

"Well, no, Ryder is straight", Sam said. "Nothing happened."

"Ryder?" Kurt's jaw dropped.

"Yeah? You were talking about him, right? He was my first boy crush."

"Look." Kurt inhaled deeply and fumbled with his fingers. "I know you and Blaine went to prom together and Blaine said it was purely platonic. And I believe him because we were together at that time but what about before? There was a time we were separated and he told me about his feelings for you and I just assumed you didn't return them so I didn't ask for details and…"

"Wow, slow down, would you?" What the hell was Kurt so upset about now? The thing he was talking about had occurred last century. Or at least it felt like that. And what even was he thinking? If Sam and Blaine had ever… if Sam had known he could be bi the time Blaine had crushed on him, well, he liked to imagine they would have come together and would now be the engaged couple instead of Blaine and Kurt. A boy could dream, right?

"Blaine and I never touched each other. Well, okay, that's a lie, we have touched each other. But not _that_ way."

Kurt exhaled and relaxed visibly while he nodded. "Okay. I wasn't thinking that. I'm not the jealous type of guy."

"Except that you are because why else would you care about what Blaine had done when you weren't even together?"

"I just… we have issues, Sam, as you might know by now. Somehow I always expect to find out Blaine cheated on me again. Even when it has been long ago."

Sam puckered his lips. "I don't think I'm the guy you should talk to about that."

"I know. I know." Kurt grabbed a towel and looked at it while nodding. "And it's not like that. He's a good boyfriend. He tries very hard."

"Okay."

Kurt forced a smile on his face and went away. Sam stayed where he was and stared at the shelf with the alcohol bottles. He didn't want to know what kind of boyfriend Blaine was to Kurt. Or how hard he tried. Sam wanted to live in blissfully ignorance and imagine his friends were a purely platonic couple and that Blaine only was with Kurt because it was comfortable. Sam didn't want to know how much Blaine loved Kurt. He really didn't!

Naturally when he went out later with Elliot he tried to drown that thought with alcohol. Now, Sam wasn't a drinker, he really wasn't. But whenever he got a too big a dose of Blaine and Kurt together he kind of went for it.

"Well… how was your day?" Elliot asked with eyes on Sam's glass. Sam put it down and drove a hand over his mouth.

"Couldn't have been better. Yours?"

"Mhmh, same. What did Kurt say to you?"

"What? How did you even see we were talking?"

"Because I see everything Kurt does even with my back turned. Now?"

Sam looked around in the bar Elliot had taken him. It was Friday night so it was crowded enough, and of course there was a stage with a life band on it. They were sitting in a niche, each with beer glasses in front of them.

"Oh, well nothing important. Asked if I ever touched his boyfriend as if me being bi means that I can't keep my hands to myself but other than that nothing."

Elliot tore his eyes open. "Wow, really? That was inappropriate."

Sam nodded. "At least you see it."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Well, did you and Blaine ever…?"

"What the fuck? No! Of course not! Why do people _always_ assume… already in high school..."

Elliot shrugged. "You and him see pretty close, so why not."

"If we ever had Blaine would've realised he's better off with me", Sam mumbled and drank another sip of his beer.

"Uhu!" Elliot exclaimed and pointed his index finger at him. "You've realised it!"

"Huh? What?"

Elliot chewed his lip and observed Sam, who really didn't know what the singer was all about now. But did it matter? No. He drank on.

Many beers later they went dancing. Sam sang and jumped around with Elliot. At some point Elliot stormed on stage and stole a guitar from the band. Of course they caught him very quickly, seeing that he was drunk and only hopping around the stage without intend to get away.

It was around two a.m. when the drunken happiness faded and everything turned into whining.

"Why doesn't Kurt love me, Sam? Why does he stay with Blaine? I'm not saying Blaine is a bad guy but they would be so much better off without each other."

They were standing amongst the crowd and Sam still had a little stupid grin on his face. Now that Elliot mentioned Kurt and Blaine he let it go and frowned. Why did Elliot have to remind Sam of that? He needed to forget it.

"It's not yours to decide", Sam said. He drank the rest of his long drink and put the glass loudly on a cocktail table. Then he stayed there and propped his arms on it.

"They love each other. They have issues but every couple has, right?"

"Nooooooo." Elliot laid his arm around Sam's shoulders and looked at him. Sam could smell his beer breath.

"You go and kidnap Blaine and Kurt will come to me, okay?"

Sam laughed. "Yeah, right."

"Come on, you'd want to. Admit it."

"What, kidnap Blaine? No. He's my best friend."

"I mean you want to looove him." Elliot came even closer and waggled his eyebrows. Maybe Sam should have pushed him away but he was drunk himself. Yup, that was the only reason why he studied Elliot's stubbly cheeks and his slightly open mouth. How would it feel like to kiss him? To kiss another man? Was Sam allowed to do it?

He swallowed and fumbled with his empty glass while his heart was pounding heavily. Elliot loved Kurt so he surely wouldn't want anything from Sam. This was a platonic date, right? Although now Elliot leaned forward and kissed Sam on the cheek. Okay. Sam could deal with that. Elliot leaned back and also took away his arm.

"Do you want to go dancing?" Elliot asked.

"I think I should go home."

"Oh." Elliot pretended to pout and Sam laughed about it.

"Okay, just one more dance."

How come Sam only now registered that some men were looking intensely at each other or dancing together? Some even were making out. They were in a gay bar and Sam had been so self-occupied he hadn't even noticed it. Maybe because he'd been to many of them before so it wasn't something that made him feel uncomfortable.

And wasn't Sam's imagination, Elliot now looked at him in a certain way, too. It made Sam's heart dash around wildly. He kind of liked it. It also was scary but when he thought about that it was all just for fun and Elliot was in love with Kurt the fear went away and he liked it. So he went with it.

It was the strangest feeling ever. Sam realised he was acting gay but he pushed it away because who cared. With time it became normal and Sam didn't feel weird returning Elliot's look. And then suddenly they were closer to each other. Sam's hands were on Elliot's waist, on his vest with many chains and ties while Elliot had his arms on Sam's shoulders. Well, one little kiss on the first date wasn't bad, right? Yeah.

Sam went for it. Elliot's cheeks were scratchy but his lips were soft. Oh God, Sam hadn't kissed anyone in _ages_. It was still the same old warm feeling, though, and once started Sam drowned in it. It was so easy to let go and forget everything around him. Why on earth had he waited? He was single in New York, he could kiss whomever he wanted. And that meant men, too. He could do what he wanted so really, why had he waited?

It faded away and Elliot leaned back to look expectantly at Sam.

"What?" Sam asked.

"I'm just watching your reactions. Have you ever kissed another man before?"

"Maybe." Sam surely wouldn't tell Elliot that he was his 'first one'. That sounded way too romantic. Plus Sam secretly had placed Blaine in that category. A kiss on the cheek was a kiss nonetheless, yes, it was!

Elliot raised his eyebrows as if not believing Sam. Why were they talking, anyway? Sam leaned forward and caught the other's mouth again. The dance wasn't over yet!


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you so much for your reviews! :-)

* * *

Chapter 7

One week later they went to the same bar, this time with Kurt and Blaine. Sam didn't know if he was excited about Blaine's presence or irritated by Kurt's. It was a weird mixture so he decided to focus on Elliot. They kind of were seeing each other now. Elliot had made it clear that it wasn't about love and Sam could live with that. He wanted to kiss a man but not commit emotionally so yeah, he was fine without love.

"Having fuuun?" Elliot sat down opposite to Sam, who had been sitting on their table in a booth while the others were dancing. Now Elliot took up his drink and nipped on it. He glanced over his shoulder.

"It's not nice to watch them, right?" he said.

Sam followed his look to their friends and shrugged.

"One day you'll get over it."

Elliot goggled at him. Then he leaned forwards, propped his arms on the table and whispered: "What if I don't want to get over it? What if I think I'm better for Kurt than Blaine?"

"Well. It's their decision." Sam drank from his beer. What even where they talking about?

"It would be their decision if there was something to decide. But had they ever to choose between each other or another partner? They are just together because they don't know what love is."

"You can't talk that way about them. You don't know how they feel." Funny enough, Elliot sounded like Sam's thoughts that he felt guilty about whenever they came up.

"I can see enough." Elliot leaned back and drank a few big sips from his beer. Sam's eyes were drawn up when their friend's came back. Blaine giggled and sat down next to Sam, clanging to his arm.

"Saaam, next time you come and dance with us, okay?"

"Yeah, sure." Sam laid his arm around Blaine's shoulders. His heart sped up as he met Kurt's gaze. Damn, did he have to wonder what he thought now every the time Sam oh so slightly touched Blaine? Kurt sure didn't look pleased but Sam wouldn't stop being Blaine's best friend only because Kurt didn't like it.

"I'm so tired!" Blaine laid his head on Sam's shoulder.

"Hey, what about you? Are you in for another dance?" Elliot asked Kurt.

"I just…"

"Come on, come on! Soon Blaine will want to go home, give me one last dance!" Elliot practically shoved Kurt out of the booth. As he got up he winked at Sam who rolled his eyes. Elliot was crazy! He couldn't make Kurt love him by dancing with him or any other method for that matter. And it would hurt Blaine, ever thought of that?

He turned his head to bury his nose in Blaine's soft curls. It was a fantastic smell. He took Blaine's hand and intertwined their fingers.

Okay, he could see why some people might think they'd be dating. But they weren't.

"Mh, Sam", Blaine sighed. "I love you."

"Love you too", Sam whispered. "Can I ask you something?"

Blaine made an agreeing sound.

"But don't be mad, okay? Just… I was wondering about Kurt and you, are you, like… still as sure about him as you were in high school?"

Blaine lifted his head. His brown eyes looked tired but amused at him.

"Why? Want me for yourself?"

"Would that be the worst idea ever?" Sam quietly said. The hottest heat ever shot up his body as Blaine got serious and observed his face.

"No", he whispered back. His eyes dwelled on Sam's lips for a few moments then he shook his head and turned away. He also drew back his hand.

"I love Kurt, yes. Why do you ask?"

Sam shrugged. Why did he ask? For Elliot. Why had he said he wanted Blaine for himself? Yeah, he did, but not in a romantic way.

"I'm glad you have Elliot now", Blaine said. He patted Sam's knee and leaned back from his embrace.

"Yeah?" Sam swallowed sickly. Why wasn't Blaine jealous? Oh man.

"Yeah, well, you know." Blaine glanced around and very conspiratorial said: "Now you can get over me."

Sam laughed. "Do you think I love you?"

Blaine nodded. "You just told me." He took his empty glass, looked into it and put it back on the table.

"I didn't. I said maybe I want you for myself, there's a difference. Maybe I just want you for a night."

Oh my God, could he stop talking trash right now? Being with Elliot wasn't doing any good for Sam's fantasy.

Blaine giggled. He leaned to Sam again and whispered into his ear.

"Maybe I'd say yes."

Blaine's hand stroked over his knee and slowly went down on the inside of it. Sam slightly spread his legs and drew in breath. What was happening? Why were they flirting with each other? Since when… what?

He suppressed all feelings and faced Blaine like any normal, not aroused best friend would. For Blaine it was all drunk fun so why wasn't it for Sam?

"Alright, let me pay and we'll go to my place then." He waggled his eyebrows. Okay, back to his old form, good. Blaine giggled again. He was too cute when drunk. Still, maybe they should stop it. Right now Kurt's jealousy was justified, wasn't it?

Kurt, right.

"We can ask Kurt if he wants to join us", Sam quickly said.

"No. Just us." Blaine glided a bit closer to Sam again. What the hell?

"You know, I always wonder about you, Sam", Blaine said. He laid his hand on Sam's abs and his head on his shoulder again. Sam knew he should push him away. He wanted to. But at the same time he wanted to embrace it and make Blaine stay.

"You wonder?" His voice sounded high pitched so Sam cleared his throat.

"Yeah." Blaine shrugged. His fingers were drawing little circles and Sam looked around to see where Kurt was. Not to be seen. Well, good.

"We flirt all the time and you say such nice things, and now you're really bi so…"

"So?" Sam knew his utterances were stupid. And when did they ever flirt except tonight? Come on!

"So I wonder if we could have been something, you know. Do you think we could have?"

"I…" Sam wetted his mouth. Could they? Let's see. He was convinced that if he had discovered to be bi earlier he and Blaine would have gotten it on. He liked to imagine they'd still be together now. He didn't like the fact that it was Kurt who got to see Blaine every night before he went to sleep and every morning right after he woke up. So in a nutshell, yes, they could have. Yes, he wanted Blaine for himself. In a romantic way.

Fuck.

"Uh, probably not." Sam heavily pushed upcoming feelings down. No, no, no. He wasn't… it wasn't like that. He was drunk, that was the reason he thought all those things now. Everything else was just ridiculous.

"Oh. Why not?"

"Because, well, you still loved Kurt."

There it was. Blaine had always loved Kurt. Even when they hadn't been together during senior year. Sam turning bi would have had no consequences at all. Maybe they would've kissed, yeah, but Blaine would've gone back to Kurt nonetheless. No doubts.

And just like that, the lights in the world went out. Sam needed to go home right now. He pushed Blaine back and flew to the bathroom. Of course it wasn't empty so he went into a stall, locked it and sat down on the closed toilette. Fuck, fuck, fuck. What even was happening? Was he really that drunk? He didn't want Blaine as a boyfriend! He was his best friend! Yes, being boyfriends would be even better because they could spend all day and night with each other and touch and kiss and – but no! No, Sam _was_ drunk. He didn't think about Blaine that way. He didn't. They were best friends and that was all they ever would be. End of story.

When he came back to his friends Kurt and Elliot luckily were back. Sam sat down next to Elliot and turned to him.

"I'm going. I had one drink too much."

"Oh, are you not feeling well? Should I take you home?"

"No, no, it's okay. I just… need to go."

"Come on, I might not be your boyfriend but I do care about you. Let me just pay the bills."

Sam let Elliot go out and then sat there, trying not to look at his friends. Blaine's head lay on Kurt's shoulder now and it hurt. Everything hurt.

* * *

"What happened?"

Sam pulled his hat down to his ears and his collar up. He shrugged. "One drink too much."

"Yeah, you can use you shit excuses on Kurt, not on me." Elliot lighted a cigarette and they started walking to the tube.

"But it's true. One moment I was merrily flirting with Blaine, the next I felt like crying and whining." Sam glanced at Elliot, who raised his eyebrows.

"Blaine, huh?"

"Yeah. Blaine", Sam quietly said into the night.

"Does that mean you now realised it?"

Sam puckered his lips and watched the breathing clouds coming from his mouth. "It's nothing."

"If you say so."

"I'm drunk. Tomorrow my thoughts will return to normal."

They came to a tube station and Elliot placed himself next to an ashtray while finishing his smoke. He blew some fume away and narrowed his eyes at Sam.

"You mean you never before felt especially great in Blaine's presence or thought how adorable and cute he was?"

"Of course I have. That's normal with Blaine, come on. Just tonight I… we kind of talked about…" Sam drew in his lips. He knew he could talk about it with Elliot, it just felt weird to say it out loud.

"About spending the night together. It was just a joke but it went straight to my head."

"Your _head?_ Is that how you call your dick?"

"He said he wondered all the time if we ever could've been something. Of course I said no because, well, Kurt. He loves Kurt." Sam stared down the stairs that were brightened up by gaudy light.

"Wait, what?"

Sam looked at Elliot, who pressed his cigarette into the ashtray.

"He wonders all the time?" Elliot asked. "And you said _no_? You idiot! First chance of setting our plan in action and what are you doing? Rejecting him."

"I'm… what plan? Come one! They love each other."

"Uhuh, that's why Blaine thinks about you all the time. And flirts with you. True love, I can see it now."

"He said he wondered, not he thinks about me. Don't twist my words so they fit you."

Elliot stepped closer to Sam and pressed one finger into his chest.

"You, my friend, need to get it on. Flirt the hell out of Blaine. I don't say make him cheat on Kurt but confuse him. It's time to get to his head, his real head as well as his dick. If he wonders about you already then it will be a piece of cake to make him crush on you."

"That is long gone."

"What is?"

"His crush on me. It didn't last long."

"He…" Elliot narrowed his eyes. "You've been there already? Fantastic! Then it's even easier! From what it sounds like he never stopped crushing on you. Well, who would, honestly." He winked and stepped back.

"You think?" Sam liked the sound of that. And who would know if not Elliot, right? He was gay and knew how other gay minds worked. Yeah, maybe Sam could try and flirt with Blaine a bit. But was there any chance they could be something? Or would Sam destroy their friendship? Well, he would see if tonight had destroyed it and if not… yeah, test the waters. Why not.

"Uh, Sam, see, we're the best team ever!" Elliot ran down the stairs and Sam followed him. They rode together for a few stations until Sam had to get out. Naturally he couldn't sleep because he kept replaying the situation with Blaine in his head. Only when he started to question again what was going on his mind got calmer and he fell asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you so much for your reviews! :-)

* * *

Chapter 8

"Sam? Saaam!"

"What? Ugh." Sam realised that opening his eyes wasn't doing any good for him, his head or mood so he closed them again and turned around in his bed. In doing so pulling the blanket over his head. It was Saturday. He didn't need to get up.

"Sam, you've got mail!"

"Great", Sam mumbled. He heard a shuffling of the curtains that were the walls of his room and in the next moment the matrass sank in. Oh, what now!? Couldn't a man peacefully cure out his hangover?

He turned around and pulled the blanked over his eyes just enough to look at Rachel, who sat beside him.

"Go away."

"It's from NYADA!" she singsong and held up an envelope.

Oh yeah. Oh wait! Sam pulled over the blanket more and tore open his eyes. Him and Blaine yesterday. Whoa! That had been a dream, right? They hadn't talked like that or groped each other, right?

"That's right, your future depends on exactly this. So, let's see." Rachel opened the envelope and Sam knew better than to complain by now. He sat up, drove a hand through his hair and yawned. Okay, he might as well get to know what NYADA said. But him and Blaine… Blaine…

"Oh my God, what? You applied for being a nude model? Sam!"

Sam took the paper from Rachel and glared at her before reading. He was invited to a job interview. For both jobs. Yay, success. Just why didn't he care? He shrugged, threw the paper on his bedside table and lay down again.

"Oh, don't be too glad", Rachel said.

"I think I'm in love with Blaine."

"What – _what?_"

Oops, had he said it out loud? But it was true. His drunken realisation from yesterday hadn't gone away. Now Sam could think clearer he even wondered how on holy earth he had remained blind about his feelings for so long. He didn't know when exactly his great platonic love for his best friend had turned into romantic love but he had shown some signs in high school already (how bad he had wanted to kiss Blaine in the closet – and oh the irony of the location) but it had been there, no doubt, and now that Sam allowed himself to act on his bi-feelings with Elliott he just couldn't stop thinking about how it would be to kiss Blaine.

"Sam, are you still drunk?"

Maybe he shouldn't have told Rachel – Kurt's best friend. Damn, fuck, shit.

Sam moaned and pulled the blanket over his head again.

"Don't tell Kurt."

"No, wait, are you serious? Are you in love _with Blaine_?"

Sam stuck out his head rapidly. "Are you honestly surprised? Because you'd be the first one."

"I… you… wait, really? I have to say yes, I am surprised. I mean yes, Blaine is often here when I come home from school and you two _are_ close, no doubt, but I always figured the admiration between you two and the sometimes inappropriate flirting…" Rachel frowned to herself and held a hand in front of her mouth.

"Told ya." Sam scratched his chin. Flirting, now why did that ring a bell?

"Oh my God, what about Kurt? Do you and Blaine have a secret affair, Sam? Because I couldn't keep quiet about the immorality that is going on in front of my eyes."

"Calm down, we don't have anything. He's in love with Kurt and always will be. I'm just his best friend."

"Oh my God", Rachel said again. She leaned against the head of the bed and stared into space. Sam nodded quietly. Yeah… he was screwed. And he needed coffee. He got up as fast as his head would allow him to and went to the kitchen.

Elliott had told him to flirt with Blaine. He had talked about a plan. What plan? Sam frowned as he switched on the coffee machine. He didn't remember any plan details. But it had happened; he and Blaine had joked about sleeping with each other. And Blaine had been pretty touchy… The memory ran straight to his dick, making it twitch. Oh God, he would have to face a lot of awkward situations, wouldn't he?

But he wouldn't go through with any 'plan'. As he had told Rachel he was Blaine's best friend. And it wasn't even because of that title that he wanted to support Blaine instead of trying to break up him and his fiancé – Sam wanted him to be happy. And Blaine loved Kurt, he had said so himself. No matter how deep it stung through Sam's chest and how much it made him want to rip out his own hair or something equally theatrically. Blaine loved Kurt. Fact. Flirting with him would not do their friendship any good and he would betray Blaine, too. Because Blaine expected him to be super supportive and, well, a _best friend_. So yeah.

"Oh my God, oh my God." Rachel came into the kitchen. Sam bit his lip. Damn, could he say anything to take it back? He didn't want her to know. Why couldn't he just shut his mouth?

"Sam, is this real or am I dreaming?"

"You are dreaming. Tomorrow you will laugh about this silly dream and not tell Kurt about it."

"I… I wouldn't, Sam. I mean yeah, if you and Blaine had an affair I would have made you tell Kurt but if you are painfully in love without hopes of ever getting it returned I won't tell him. That's between you and me. Does Elliott know? I mean he's your boyfriend so aren't you betraying him, kind of?"

Sam ignored the pain of her middle sentence and frowned.

"He's not my boyfriend. I'm seeing him, there's a difference and yes, he knows. He knew it even before I did."

"Oh my God."

"Yes, I think God knows by now!" Sam groused at her. He took his coffee and went to the living room area. He would concentrate on his career. Hey, maybe he would get one of the jobs. At NYADA. Sure, it would make him see Blaine more often… but that had no meaning at all. They were friends and would stay that way. Yes.

* * *

"What? No!" Elliott stomped his foot, he actually did. "What about our plan?"

Sam raised his eyebrows. "_Your_ plan, you mean. I never agreed to anything."

Elliott put on his _Spotlight_ apron and shook his head. "Yeah, you did. But it doesn't matter. You won't be able to keep your hands off of Blaine anyway. I'd like to see you try, though, it'll be funny. Since today is Monday I will be getting my show around two p.m. already." He grinned, waggled his eyebrows and left the kitchen to start working.

Seriously, Sam wasn't a freak who couldn't control his urges. He might have flirted a tiny little bit with Blaine in the past but now he knew what was going on he'd keep it in check. Nothing easier than that.

Except that when he saw Blaine for the first time after his drunk realisation his breath got stuck in his lung and his brain froze. That was one beautiful man over there. What had happened that Sam saw it only now? But fuck. Wrong way of thinking.

Sam cleared his throat and forced his feet to move since Elliott suddenly was _very_ busy washing dishes.

"Hey there", Sam said as casual as possible. He first looked at Kurt to buy some time. But somehow it didn't work out as planned since after one second of looking at Kurt his eyes flew to Blaine as if magnetically drawn there.

"I'll take a glass of water", Blaine said.

"Water?" Sam asked.

"Yeah!" Blaine nodded and studied the menu. Sam on the other hand studied Blaine's hair. Wow, so much gel.

"Me, too", Kurt said. Sam wrote down the orders. They always drank the same. Oh man, they were so in love!

He ignored Elliott's big fat grin as he came back to the bar and prepared the drinks. But before he could even think of bringing them to his friends' table Kurt came over. He laid a hand on the bar counter, his fingers tapping up and down.

"Sam? Can we talk?"

Again? Sam suppressed a sigh and nodded. He looked at Elliott and it took a few long moments until the singer looked up and gave in. He took the glasses and went away.

Kurt narrowed his eyes. "How much do you remember from Friday?"

"Everything. Why?" Hot and cold waves rushed through Sam's body but he held Kurt's eyes. He wouldn't back down from being a good friend to Blaine and that was what he had been. Nothing else.

"Would you mind keeping your hands to yourself next time?"

Sam bit his lip and looked at his hands. Then he looked up again. "Dude, you're freakin' jealous for nothing. And I mean, what's up with that, anyway? Don't you trust Blaine?"

"I think that Blaine trusts you way too much."

Sam raised his eyebrows. Whoa. How did he deserve such hostility? He did everything he could to suppress his feelings and be a good friend to both Kurt and Blaine, so this was really uncalled for!

"If Blaine trusts me maybe you should, too." Oh wow, how _lame_ had that been? Couldn't Sam say something that made Kurt all speechless and, like, realising he was wrong?

Kurt leaned over the counter. But before he could say anything Elliott was back. He appeared out of nowhere next to Kurt and laid an arm around his shoulders.

"Heeey, buddy! Everything good?"

"Yeah. I guess." Kurt didn't release Sam for a few more moments during that Sam, encouraged by Elliott's presence, imagined himself saying things like '_Bring it on, Hummel, may the best man win'_. But he didn't and eventually Kurt went back to his table.

"Huh", Elliott said, looking after him. "Looks like our plan is working already."

Sam sighed deeply. "Oh my God, stop it with 'the plan'. There's no plan. Kurt's jealous, meaning he loves Blaine, meaning they will marry soon."

Elliott laughed, he fucking _laughed_, and propped his elbows on the counter.

"Kurt is projecting the issues he has with Blaine onto you. Well, yeah, he's right to be jealous, I'll give him that. _Issues_. Oh how I love that word."

Sam mumbled and preferred to continue his work. If Kurt kept on being like that no one could blame Sam for actually putting the moves on Blaine. But then again it was Blaine who he had sworn his alliance to and he couldn't do it to him.

* * *

The first job interview he had was for the library job. Sam did his best to answer why he wanted to work as a book sorter and apparently he was convincing enough – or they were desperate enough – since they gave him the job. He'd start the next day, working from ten to two. He would have to relocate some shifts at the diner and would probably not work as much with Elliott anymore but well, who cared. He'd be at NYADA and even if he knew Blaine wouldn't come to visit him every day knowing that they were in the same building was… _great_.

Sam smiled on his way back home until he realised how pansy he was. Like a girl, really. And he hadn't even talked that much to Blaine since last Friday. He had to admit he was a bit afraid of being alone with him. But Blaine was in love with Kurt so there was no risk at all, right?

Sam just had to get used to being Blaine's best friend while knowing he was in love with him. It would get easier after having overcome the initial weirdness. So he invited Blaine over for the evening. Before his best friend showed up he had a word with Rachel, though, and forbid her to talk. Well, she was allowed to talk but not about _certain things_.

"Oh, don't be afraid, I'll be in my room studying. Or listening to music and training my voice. I will not sit with you both and torture myself by watching this show of unrequited love."

"Okay, and stop saying things like '_unrequited'_ or '_can never be returned'_. I know it's true but… just stop."

"Aw, Sam", Rachel patted Sam's cheek and went to her section. Seriously? Pity was the last thing he needed! Tsk. Blaine _could_ love him if, well, if it wasn't for Kurt. Stupid Kurt, really.

When Sam later opened the door for Blaine he just couldn't hold back.

"I got the job at NYADA!" he said when Blaine wasn't even completely inside. Of course his best friend smiled and hugged him.

"Congratulations, Sam, how great is that? I'll come visit you!"

"Of course you do. I'd be insulted if not", Sam said. Fuuuck hugging Blaine had been over too quickly. His blood pressure was still high as the Mount Everest when they went to sit on the couch. Those were normal bodily signs. He could ignore them. It just took some getting used to it. No biggie.

"So you're now working at the diner and NYADA", Blaine said. "And you're still looking for model jobs, too?"

"Yup. I'm a busy man." Not kissing Blaine was also a task that could be filed under 'things Sam put energy in'. Just how great would it be? Sitting on the couch, caressing each other, prodding their lips against each other… mh. Shit, no thinking too much about it.

"So, uh, Star Wars? Lord Of The Rings? Avatar?" Sam said while he got up and very professionally looked over his DVDs on the shelf behind the couch.

"You choose", Blaine said. He put his legs up and stretched his arms while giving a little moan. Sam glanced at him while the noise went right into his dick. So, back to the DVDs. Sam grasped one without even looking at it and went to the DVD player.

"How are things with NYADA, anyway?" he asked.

"NYADA is just fine", Blaine said. "What I can't wrap my head around is Kurt."

"Oh, really? Kurt?" Sam felt his face getting hot so he took some time before going back to the couch, hoping his blush wasn't too obvious.

"Mh… Sam?" Blaine looked at his hands. "Would you think we're… we have what people would call a flirtatious friendship?"

Sam cleared his throat. "What… what even is that?" Right, as if the term didn't say it all.

"And I mean on Friday… uhm. I don't know if you remember…"

"Really, Blaine, it's all nonsense. It's nothing. Hey, look, Thor's hair has grown."

He gestured to the TV were the _Avengers_ were busy fighting. Why were they _talking_ about it now? Seriously, bad idea! Sam was good in acting normal but when it came to talking he'd probably let something slip. He couldn't afford that.

Luckily Blaine let it go. Sam didn't dare to look at him for the next hour or so. Only when he got up to get them some drinks and came back did he relax a bit. He accidentally sat down closer to Blaine so that their arms were touching and he didn't change it. He should have but he didn't. And why, it was harmless anyway. Blaine also didn't move back; he probably didn't even realise it. Though when his head fell on Sam's shoulder and Sam felt the urge to lay his arm around Blaine things got a bit complicated. He wanted to and any other time he would have done it. They always ended up cuddling. But now it was different; now it made him feel… things. His breathing got harder and he wondered what Blaine thought about it. Maybe they should have talked after all.

Sam leaned forward to sip from his glass and then propped his elbows on his legs. How it broke his heart that he backed out of this little body contact he didn't know. But it did.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Why again had Sam wanted to work as a fucking _librarian_? It was boring. He either scanned books students wanted to take home or gave back or went with a little trolley through the rows to sort the books in. It quickly became his favourite part of the day when Blaine strolled in and stayed for a while. Despite Sam's expectations this actually happened every day and Sam didn't question it. If Blaine wanted to visit him who was he to tell him not to?

"So she told me to write an essay about perspective. Like, is that the most boring thing you ever heard or what?" Blaine finished a tale from his art class.

"It's not. The most boring thing I ever heard of is sorting in books every day", Sam pulled a face as he did exactly that. Blaine was leaning against the book shelf and now looked at him.

"Well, Sam, you chose this work. And you're only here for a week so…"

"I know, I know. Can't remember why I actually wanted it."

"I remember. You said I could visit you and it would be fun."

"Oh, well, the part when you're here _is_ fun", Sam said. He sent a smile to Blaine and when the other held his eyes he turned his head a little more. Oh God, Blaine's eyes were _so beautiful_. Like, and that might have sounded cheesy and really fucking gay but… Sam could drown in them. He would gaze at Blaine and forget where he was and then after a few moments look around in confusion like waking up from a dream. Then he'd realise that he had let himself go again and turn back to whatever task he had been on. Like sorting in books.

In his mind though Blaine stepped closer to him and whispered '_kiss me'_ and Sam did it, and they made out between the books rows until some giggling students interrupted them. Oh my… Sam drew in a breath and focused on what the real Blaine was talking about.

"…know it's not our usual restaurant but I thought we could check it out?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, sure. Whatever you want." Oh God, Blaine could ask him to murder someone and Sam would do it, wouldn't he?

So later that day when Sam's work was done and Blaine had his break they went to a new restaurant. Apart from some fantasies that flooded through Sam's mind it was like any other day and Sam was really proud of himself that he could keep up a normal friendship with Blaine. But he would do whatever was necessary. He couldn't lose Blaine as a friend, he just couldn't.

Only one problem remained or even increased. Any mention of Kurt went right into Sam's guts and made his fists clench. He had to pretend that he didn't think about the fact Blaine should be his and that was _hard_. It was like weaving a red flag in front of a bull and expecting the bull to remain calm and peaceful.

"Kurt wants to take me to a fancy restaurant tonight", Blaine said when they stepped out.

Sam couldn't hold back to say "I thought I just did" even when it had been Blaine taking him to a new diner. Blaine just giggled and nudged Sam's arm. A familiar gesture that made Sam ease off a bit, alright, but he still couldn't forget the sting in his heart.

"Don't be jealous; you'll always be my number one break companion", Blaine said.

"Wait, really? I thought that was Kurt, too."

On their way back to NYADA they had to wait for a green signal once again. Blaine shrugged and rubbed over his nose.

"Well, he can't be my number one for everything, now, can he?"

Sam just stared at Blaine. "Why… Well, I thought he was, yes. I mean he's your fiancé."

It wasn't enjoyable to watch how uncomfortable Blaine got but Sam loved the conversation. He wanted to know what he meant to Blaine.

"It's not… it's not… And _you_ are my best friend, Sam. Of course you are very high on my list."

Now, that wasn't answering any question, was it? Blaine suddenly walked on and Sam quickly followed him over the street.

"Are there any problems with Kurt?" he asked. He needed to know. If there was any possibility that Kurt wasn't the right one for Blaine… that Kurt wasn't _good_ for Blaine…

"Of course not. Just some… issues… Oh, here we are. Now, that was a lovely break, thanks Sam."

Blaine practically ran to NYADA and Sam watched him until he wasn't to be seen any more.

Issues. Yeah, he started to like that word, too.

* * *

"Huh, I don't know why but when I suggested doubling again Kurt didn't like the idea", Elliott said.

"Yeah, I don't know what that's all about, too", Sam said, rolling his eyes. He was talking on the phone with his – well, what was Elliott? Not boyfriend but not a normal friend, either. Anyway, while talking to him he was lying on the couch and ate Häagen Dasz (salted caramel) that he had found in the freezer. Girly ice cream but whatever, he deserved it. Kurt had taken Blaine to a fancy restaurant yesterday night.

"How are you doing so far with the plan?" Elliott asked. "Cause I almost proposed to Kurt he'd simply go out with me."

"You know, El, you could actually ask him that. Why should I be the one stealing Blaine? You could be the one stealing Kurt just as well."

"Mh… You are right. I was relying on your chemistry with Blaine but fact is I and Kurt are not that UST-less ourselves."

"Mhmh, if you say so." Sam had never sensed anything ever between Elliott and Kurt but maybe only because he barely saw Kurt without Blaine and then, of course, focused on his best friend.

"I do say so! I will use your trick and play the best friends card", Elliott said.

"Hey, hey, that's not fair!"

"It's not like you invented this method, Sammy."

"It's not a method; we actually are best friends!"

"Potatoes, potatoes."

Sam could practically _hear_ how Elliott waved his argument aside. They hang up and Sam was finally able to enjoy the last minutes of Pretty Woman. Yes. A girly movie but again… he deserved it. Rachel's fault, actually, she shouldn't let her DVDs lay around.

Speaking of the devil. Rachel entered the loft and just stood there, observing the situation.

"Sam…? Do I need to worry?"

"There is never any good reason as to why a woman should worry about her roommate eating her ice scream and watching her chick flicks", Sam said. "It's just… Kurt took Blaine to a fancy restaurant."

Rachel raised a finger. "I will not listen to any of this. You should not be in love in the first place."

"Yeah, right, as if _you_ could control things like that."

She snorted to show him her disagreement and went to her room.

"At least you don't have to worry about Kurt proposing", she called from behind her curtains.

"That's right, rub salt into my wounds", Sam murmured. The doorbell rang. When Rachel hadn't bothered to come out and open the door he got up with much grunting and did it himself. It was the biggest surprise ever when Blaine stood there, with red eyes and a red nose.

"Sam? Do you have time for me?"

"Yeah, yes, of course. What happened?" Sam let Blaine come in. The petite guy just stood there, wringing his hands and looking around while Sam closed the door.

"I just… fought with Kurt and…"

Rachel came out from her room, of course now she did.

"Oh my God, Blaine! Is everything okay? You look horrible! Sam, don't just stand there!" Rachel grabbed the Häagen Dasz from Sam and offered it Blaine, who shook his head.

"Well, take off your jacket, sit down", Rachel said while she brought the ice scream to the kitchen. "Is there need for me to look after Kurt? Oh, I bet there is, right? No judging or anything but you know I'm his best friend. He needs me now just like you need Sam. I'm on my way already."

Sam wasn't proud to admit it but he was glad that his roommate was about to leave. He liked being alone with Blaine. Now he was in a miserable situation so Sam shouldn't even think like that but well…

He went to Blaine, guided him to the couch and made him sit down. Finally Blaine took off his jacket and threw it to the armchair. He rubbed over his eyes and sniffled.

"I don't even know what it was about", he confessed. "Yesterday things seemed so good and today just… every little thing triggered a fight. One day good, one bad, Sam, it's been like that for quite a while now."

Sam rubbed over Blaine's back. "Hey, it happens to the best."

Blaine shook his head. "I thought we were in a bad phase and just had to overcome it. The only problem is I don't even remember when this 'phase' had begun…"

"Don't be alarmed, I'm off already!" Rachel hurried from the bathroom to her room where some hasted noises came from. A few moments later her heels clicked over the loft floor and she didn't even say goodbye as she closed the door behind her. Sam didn't mind. He glided a bit closer to Blaine and continued the back rubbing.

"Maybe it will be better soon."

"Yeah." Blaine didn't sound like he believed it. He leaned against the couch, making Sam take his hand back. And now, how was he supposed to make Blaine feel better?

"So, this wasn't the first fight? Dude, why didn't you tell me about it?" he asked.

Blaine shrugged. "I guess I didn't want to admit that we're not perfect." He sighed while he stared into space. "Ever since we are living in New York I was hoping it would be like in high school again. But it never was. Why not, Sam? Why can't it be like it has been?"

"I don't know… things change?"

"Mmh." Blaine drove his hands over his face. Eventually he looked at Sam and his expression changed from pure pain to mild suffering. Well, at least something. He even took Sam's hand into both of his and squeezed it.

"I'm sorry I'm whining so much, Sam."

"No, don't apologise. You're hurt, it's normal that you let it out and I'm glad you talk to me about it instead of, I don't know, Rachel."

"Yeah?" Blaine said.

"Of course. I want to be there for you in every situation."

"And you are. Thank you."

Sam nodded; and Blaine finally smiled a little bit. Then his eyes glided to the TV screen and he frowned.

"Wait, you were watching Pretty Woman?"

"Uhm… yeah." Sam took back his hand, quickly grasped for the remote and switched off the TV. Blaine briefly looked to the kitchen and back at Sam.

"And the ice… is something bothering you, too?"

"No. No." Sam cleared his throat. "It's… we talk about you now, buddy."

"Sam, no, we also talk about you." Blaine put his hand on Sam's shoulder so Sam leaned against the couch, too, torso turned to Blaine. His beautiful, amazing hazel eyes. They looked hurt yet were they shining with love. Or at least that's how Sam saw it. Because he loved this black haired man sitting next to him..

But of course Sam couldn't tell him. It was breaking his heart once again but he couldn't. How would it seem now? Jumping the opportunity to steal him from Kurt… and it wouldn't work anyway and… they were best friends, he shouldn't even think of Blaine that way.

"Sam?" Blaine whispered. His hand lazily ran down Sam's arm and rested on Sam's leg. Just the fingertips, actually, but it sent hot shivers through Sam's whole body. With the biggest effort ever Sam turned his head to the TV and tried to think of neutral things. Of something to say.

"Uh, yeah, I'm… I just fought with Elliott on the phone", he said. Perfect excuse, yes!

"Oh. I'm sorry." Blaine sighed. "Today's just not our day, is it?"

"Yeah." Released he had dodged the topic Sam turned to Blaine again and laid his forehead on the smaller man's shoulder. Blaine threw an arm around Sam and slowly stroked about his back. Yes, that was good. They could stay like that now. They didn't need Kurt or Elliott or whoever. Just the two of them.

"At least we still have us", Sam whispered. He lifted his head to find Blaine's gorgeous eyes. They looked better than before, not so hurt anymore.

"We do", Blaine answered equally quiet. His face was so close and his eyes practically screamed for it, really, so nobody could blame Sam when he laid his forehead against Blaine's and allowed himself to drown again. And how he loved the touch of Blaine's hand wandering over his abs and chest and finally resting on Sam's jaw. It took his breath away. He briefly closed his eyes to gather himself. This was _so right_. He needed to have Blaine all around him and apparently it was the other way around, too.

When he opened his eyes his guts were on fire and he returned Blaine's gaze that somehow drew him nearer. Then Blaine's thumb oh so softly stroked over Sam's lips. It was warm and Sam instinctively pursed his lips to kiss it. This was how things were supposed to be. The both of them. Sam he pushed the outside world out for the sake of their own little bubble. They would deal with it later. Finally Blaine replaced his thumb with his lips. Sam dissolved into nothing, the only thing reminding of who he was where those lips. He glided a bit closer and laid his hand in Blaine's neck. They were doing it, they were actually kissing. Blaine's breath stroked Sam's cheek. It took some moments until Sam could move again. He increased the pressure against Blaine's lips and Blaine kissed back. Good, very good.

Blaine's hand wandered down his side and gently pulled on him. Sam gave in to the pressure, of course he did, and together they sank down. In the process they stopped kissing though, and when Sam had settled down on Blaine and looked into his eyes to regain that heavenly feeling of otherworldliness every fight was lost. It was right to be here like that with Blaine. They belonged to each other; and Blaine could tell Kurt to take a bow afterwards still. But talking about it would ruin the moment, so Sam simply kissed Blaine again. He didn't know for how long. His hand was busy caressing Blaine's wonderful hair, now and then taking a handful after he had discovered it made the other man shudder with pleasure. Eventually Blaine's hand wandered down his back and squeezed his ass and Sam's brains went out of the windows.

Sam slipped his hand under Blaine's jersey and found the softest skin ever. Blaine not only looked like he had come directly from heaven he also felt like it. And finally he was Sam's. Wow.

"Put it off", Blaine whispered. His mouth went over Sam's cheek to his ear. "Undress me."

Sam moaned and lifted all of Blaine's tops. As soon as they were gone their mouths found each other again while Sam was all over the others chest. He was sweating so freaking much in his clothes so he was very, very glad when Blaine pulled up his hoodie. Sam quickly took it off and bent down again. Those lips, they were just perfect on his mouth. Those noises Blaine made, they drove Sam crazy in the best of all ways.

"God Sam." Blaine laid his head back and moaned loudly while Sam kissed down his neck. He grinned in doing so.

"Yeah?"

"I can't tell you how long I've wanted this…"

"Me, too." Sam moved up again and prodded his nose against Blaine's. Beautiful hazel eyes met him. This was it, the official moment his life had become as perfect as he had never thought it could be. They would be together forever, Sam just knew it. He didn't know how but it was more than a wish. They existed for each other.

The moment transferred into another kiss and Sam noticed how tight his pants were. He needed to get out of those. Not to mention that the bulge in Blaine's trousers was something he wanted to feel without any texture between them. So he slowly let his hand glide there. Blaine didn't protest. Blaine even hurried to open his zipper and then guided Sam's hand on the wrist to it. If he had ever wondered whether it would be weird to touch another man's dick he knew now that it wasn't. It belonged to Blaine so it was beautiful beyond measure.

Everything happened so fast now. He pushed down Blaine's trousers and also got out of his. When they lay together again, skin on skin, Sam couldn't cope with the pure awesomeness of everything; of Blaine.

"You're so perfect", he quietly said.

"No, _you_ are perfect, Sam. Your abs…" Blaine stroked over said body part. "And… you're so big." Now he caressed Sam's dick. Sam lightly bit into Blaine's earlobe.

"Do you like it, yeah?"

Blaine moaned. His stroking became faster and they moved together like that for a while until Sam reached down and pressed Blaine's cock against his own. Heaven, it was pure heaven, especially as they fastened their rhythm even more.


	10. Chapter 10

Hey there, thanks for reviewing ;-)

Chapter 10

Not much later Sam grinned like an idiot while he put back on his clothes. Blaine, wow. Were they officially together already or did it have to wait until Blaine had left Kurt…? If the passion hadn't overrun them they would have talked about that first but they could still talk now.

Sam put his hoodie over his head and pulled it down. Then he sat on the couch again and waited for Blaine to do the same. After their talk they would kiss all day long and cuddle and just be boyfriends. Oh wow. Oh yeah, he should let Elliott know they weren't seeing each other anymore but one thing after another.

"Wow, I really feel like this was long overdue", Blaine said. He stuffed his shirt into his trousers and picked up his bowtie.

"It was", Sam confirmed. His hands were all fidgety. His feet, too. This was the best day of his life!

Blaine went into the bathroom and when he emerged his bowtie was neatly around his collar and his hair was much tidier, too. He grabbed his jersey from the armchair and pulled it over his head. Then he folded his hands, held them in front of his mouth and looked at Sam while inhaling deeply.

"Oh my God. I just can't believe it. That we…" He laughingly shook his head and took down his hands. "Well, it has been great. Thank you, Sam."

Blaine bowed down to Sam to kiss him on the cheek and then took his jacket. Wait, what? Sam quickly jumped up.

"You're going already?"

"Yeah." Blaine shrugged while he put on his jacket. "I mean one of the reasons Kurt and I fought was because he could sense the tension between us. Now that that's out of the world it will be better, right?"

"Wha… _what?_" Sam frowned. "You mean you… You…" Sam didn't even know where to start. This had been an act of love, right? Not calculation, please, not… Blaine wouldn't do… this was _Blaine_. They loved each other!

Blaine took another deep breath. "I mean he won't be glad but he'll… I'm not lying to myself here, Sam, right? Kurt will understand? Kurt will see how things can go back to normal now?"

"Are you out of your mind? Just a few days ago Kurt acted pretty jealous just because I hugged you. He told me I should keep my hands to myself. What I clearly didn't do." And anyway, weren't _they_ supposed to be the happy couple now?

"Oh. Huh." Blaine stared at the ground. Sam's stomach cramped painfully. So Blaine didn't love him? It was just because of '_tension_'? A one night stand that hadn't even lasted one night? Even when they were best friends and it might have ruined their friendship? But how… what… No!

Blaine squared his shoulders. "Well, I just tell him that he doesn't need to be jealous. It's not like you're in love with me. We just had some tension gathered over the years and now it's gone."

Sam raised his eyebrows. He wanted to cry but at the same time he wanted to scream at Blaine for his unbelievable ignorance. _But I am in love with you, you idiot!_

"You make it sound so easy", Sam said.

Blaine stopped in closing his jacket and looked up. "Isn't it?"

One moment Sam thought he would tell him. Just spill it out. But his mouth moved without producing words. It would make Blaine feel bad. He thought they had both just acted on physical desire and somehow, in a weird way, there seemed to be room for that in their friendship. Blaine was acting so normal and Sam could already feel they were back in platonic waters. He would ruin it now if he told Blaine about his love. And since Blaine couldn't wait to get back to Kurt even now it wouldn't change anything. Blaine would never love him. Ever.

So Sam bit his lip and averted his eyes. "Yeah. Guess it is."

"Okay." Blaine sighed and nodded. "Well, again, thank you. We talk on Monday, right?"

"Sure." Sam felt like in the strangest dream ever when he walked Blaine to the door and received another kiss on the cheek. Then his best friend was gone and Sam closed the door. He went to the kitchen to get the Häagen Dasz again. Just don't think about anything right now. He put on another one of Rachel's chick flicks DVDs, sat down on the couch (where he had lain with Blaine just five minutes ago) and didn't pay attention to the tears rolling down his cheek.

When Rachel came home not much later (and that was a bad sign, meaning Kurt and Blaine were alone now) she didn't say anything and simply snuggled up to him. Sam didn't ask what she knew or was thinking. He was glad for the company though his heart was still crying. And he had the feeling it wouldn't stop for a long time.

* * *

Sam didn't know if he should tell Elliott. He felt like betraying the intimacy he had had with Blaine but on the other hand Blaine had planned on telling Kurt right away. So Sam had the right to talk to someone, too.

And as expected Elliott was all ablaze.

"You… you… what? Really? Like… wow!"

They were in Elliott's apartment in the living room and Elliott stared in amazement at Sam. "And you are sure you didn't dream it?"

"No dream can ever be as wonderful and perfect as it was with Blaine", Sam said, thinking back to the one moment were Blaine had been his. It was this moment that comforted his heart when, oh the irony, he felt bad because of Blaine.

Elliott applauded him. "Good, great! Well, except the cheating part. And Blaine really thought Kurt would be _happy_ about it?"

"He apparently is or else I would have heard back from him, wouldn't I?" Sam said. It was true. The whole Sunday long Sam had waited for an outraged call or text from Kurt or Blaine showing up in tears again. But no sign of Klaine at all and that could only mean one thing. They hadn't fought.

"I just can't imagine that", Elliott said. "As jealous as he was? Maybe Blaine didn't tell him after all. He's not stupid, he was just so happy he got to screw you that he didn't realise what he actually had done and what it mean for him and Kurt. It must have sunk in eventually and he was clever enough not to tell Kurt. But sooner or later he will know. And that's, my friend, is when our lives will changes forever."

"I wish I had your confidence", Sam mumbled. He had stopped talking himself into good things. In the end he'd be disappointed so better be prepared for the worst. Meaning Blaine _had_ told Kurt and Kurt _was_ okay with it and they were planning their marriage and looking for an adoption agency that very moment.

* * *

His second job interview was on Monday so he missed an hour in the library. Since his boss knew he was on another mission for NYADA it was okay, though. This time they told him they'd call him. Since there was more than one candidate he thought they probably would decide after they had seen all.

When Sam came back to the library he waited for Blaine to show up but he didn't. And so a good day turned into a bad one although he really didn't hope for anything from Blaine anymore. Just… no.

Still Sam went through all possible theories as to why Blaine had bailed on him. First on the list: It stood between them now. Their friendship was ruined. But Blaine hadn't acted weird afterwards. So maybe it was because of Kurt. Kurt had forbidden Blaine to ever see Sam again and Blaine happily obeyed because he wanted to marry Kurt. Or Blaine had realised that he had used Sam like a jerk and felt guilty. Well, he should. Or maybe he feared they couldn't keep their hands to themselves now that they had crossed the line once. A justified fear if one asked Sam. Or…

His phone went on his way out of the college. It was Blaine. _Weren't you at work today?_

Or Blaine had been there when Sam hadn't. He was about to write back to explain it when he saw Kurt standing in front of the doors. Oh fuck. Should Sam hide now or wait until he was gone or…? Sam turned around and jerked up.

"Sam! I thought you weren't here today!" Blaine stood there. Sam's heart was dashing for more than just having been frightened.

"Uh, yeah, well, I was but I had a job interview in between."

"Oh, for the model job?"

"Yes?"

"And?"

"They call me back."

"I hope you'll get it." Blaine smiled and patted Sam's shoulder. Okay, so they were normal with each other. Sam could do that, yeah. They went outside to Kurt who frowned but curiously enough didn't say anything about Sam's presence. So he didn't know…?

Blaine kissed Kurt, ugh, _gross_. Sam looked away. He needed to know what Blaine had told Kurt! Because if nothing then Sam was a secret keeper and he didn't like it. Kurt's hostility would be justified then, wouldn't it?

Luckily he didn't have to accompany them to the _Spotlight_ since his shift would start only later. So he went home, enjoyed his alone time by eating the rest of the ice cream (he'd buy new one soon) and tried not to think of the mess that was called his life.

* * *

Since Blaine was acting so fucking normal Sam didn't even dare to ask about the state of Kurt's knowledge. Ignoring that ever something had happened (and that Sam was pissed about Blaine's cold hearted act) seemed to be the best. But after Blaine had merrily talked about one of his classes since he had come here and Sam was ready with sorting in books now, meaning he had nothing to do to keep his curiosity at bay he turned to Blaine and crossed his arms.

"Have you told him?"

Blaine sighed and looked away for a moment. "No."

"I thought it would save your relationship."

"It will. But Kurt wouldn't understand it, not yet."

Sam puckered his lips. "Blaine, he would never understand. And to be frank I don't understand it either. I mean… have you… Did you do it with Kurt in mind? Is that why it happened in the first place?"

"Sam, please, this is not the best time to talk about it."

"Oh, it is the best time to talk about it. Because if it had gone down like that, you know what that would make you?"

"It wasn't… Sam, why are mad now? I mean you know why it happened. You felt it too, didn't you, that… that thing between us. Ever since… I don't know since when but it just wouldn't stop. So… I'm not… I mean yes, it was wrong. And I admit that the thought that it could help me and Kurt allowed me to give in but… Oh my God! I'm the worst person ever, aren't I?" Blaine put his hands in front of his face. Sam felt reminded of high school when he had comforted Blaine after he had cheated on Kurt only this time Sam was the one who he had cheated with. This time Sam's heart screamed '_he thinks it was wrong'_ and '_he used me to make things right with Kurt'_ so naturally his mouth wasn't able to assure Blaine everything was good. Because it wasn't.

It had been the best and happiest moment in Sam's life and Blaine thought it had been wrong. Great. And even worse was the fact that it was true. It had been wrong because of Kurt.

"We're both bad persons", Sam mumbled as he turned to his trolley. He didn't go away, though, but stared at it. What now?

"I need to tell him, I know", Blaine murmured "But he will leave me for good then."

Sam drew in his lower lip. Don't say it, don't say it, don't… "Ever thought that it maybe wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen to you?"

He didn't look at Blaine. Why had he said it? He ought to support Blaine. Be his best friend and… but fuck. They had done naughty things and even more, Sam loved him. How was he supposed to stay neutral still?

"What are you saying?"

Blaine's voice was only a whisper. Sam still couldn't look at him so he glanced to some students a few feet away and then simply looked at the book shelf in front of him.

"I'm saying that Kurt might have been your first love but he that doesn't mean he's gonna be your last one."

"What? Yes, of course that's what it means. We're soul mates."

Of course. Sam shook his head to himself and started to push the trolley away. Whatever. He would find someone else, sure he would. Someone who wouldn't try to use him as a cure for his relationship with someone else.

"Wait, Sam! Wait." A grip on his arm made Sam stop. Blaine looked at him with confusion. "Why are you saying this?"

Oh crap, it was too late anyway. This wasn't the most romantic environment but then again his words weren't meant to be romantic. Just informative.

"Have you ever stopped to think about why _I_ gave in, Blaine? Or what exactly '_that thing_' between us is? Cause you can't tell me you believe it's purely physical. Not when we're best friends, not after our history."

Blaine's eyes looked as if they would plop out of his head any moment. He let go of Sam's arm and leaned back though his eyes never left Sam's. And Sam felt good saying it. He knew he should've thought it more through or maybe kept quiet for the sake of their friendship but had Blaine hesitated for the sake of their friendship when he had decided sleeping together would be such a great idea for him and _Kurt_?

"So yeah." Sam shrugged because the silence got too long. He almost turned around to go again when Blaine finally spoke.

"So it wasn't… I mean… Oh God." He drove a hand over his face and shook his head. "I don't even know what I thought it was, Sam."

Blaine looked like he was about to cry. He shook his head again. "So it meant something for you and I just… I… I'm so sorry Sam, so, so sorry!"

"Don't be." Shit. Blaine had been supposed to say he loved Sam, too. But well, of course Sam had never believed it would happen. Of course not. He should really stop getting his hopes up.

"So, you, uh…" Blaine looked at him questioningly.

"Yeah. Ever since high school…" Sam shrugged. They were in a library so he sure wouldn't lay out all the details now.

"High school", Blaine whispered. "But you liked Ryder."

"I did. But I also wanted to kiss you at Tina's party."

"In the closet?" Blaine asked. Sam nodded. He enclosed his fingers around the trolley's hold.

"I wanted to kiss you, too", Blaine said. "But… oh, why couldn't you just have thought of being bi just a few months earlier?"

"What would it have mattered? You would have gone back to Kurt anyway. Just like you did on Saturday." And with that Sam pushed the trolley out onto the main aisle and went back to work.

* * *

A/N Hey when did I ever say the angst was over? xD Congrats Amy-Violet you were so right! :-D


	11. Chapter 11

Thank you for your reviews and for your concern about Sam's well-being :-)

* * *

Chapter 11

Sam was glad when Blaine didn't show up in the library the next day. He needed distance to clear his head from these ridiculous cheesy thoughts about Blaine. After work he immediately went to Elliott for an emergency meeting. On his way there he brought ice cream that he put on the table as soon as he was in the apartment. And he didn't even sit down.

"I told him."

"You told who…? Kurt?" Elliott said.

"I told Blaine I love him. He said he would love Kurt forever."

"Oh. Mh." Elliott grabbed the ice cream and looked at it. "Salted caramel? That sounds disgusting."

"Are you listening to me? I told Blaine and he rejected me. Our plan is over!"

"Nah. It just has started." Elliott put down the Häagen Dasz and leaned back on the couch, hands folded in his neck. "So you told him. How come? I thought you wanted to be a good buddy and shit like that."

"Well, if Blaine can risk our friendship to save his relationship then so can I." Sam threw himself onto the couch without taking off his jacket. He didn't want to lose Blaine. Should he have kept quiet? But too late now. Man.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, maybe I should mention Blaine also told me he just did it with me because he thought it would help him and Kurt. He literally said that's why he did it. I never ever thought Blaine could be such an ass!"

"Wow, I'm surprised, too. And you clearly didn't misunderstand it?"

Sam took off his jacket and went to the kitchen to get spoons. He needed ice cream now. He would later grouse at Rachel for making him addicted to that stuff but right now he needed it. When he sat on the couch again and opened the can he said: "Nope. He said it. Isn't it great, I'm so worthless even _Blaine_ uses me. Just…" Sam puckered his lips and didn't care about the tears rolling down his cheeks. His precious memory of being close to Blaine was ruined now. It had meant nothing.

"Oh fuck, he really…? No, Sam, no. You're worth very, very much. You're the most goodhearted person I know! It was really wrong of Blaine to do that. Do you want me to talk to him?"

"Who are you, my mother?" Sam grumbled. He could defend himself, thank you very much. Just the fact that he needed to do it against Blaine was more than he could bear. His Blaine. The best friend ever. Supposedly.

"He didn't call or text me, too. Nothing", Sam said. "He knows since yesterday and prefers to stay away from me. I just… how could he…." Sam shook his head and put much ice cream into his mouth. The fact that Blaine kept silent hurt even more than that he could never love Sam. Now he had lost him as a friend and that was just… too much.

* * *

When Sam came home he had to grouse at Rachel for two reasons. First the ice cream addiction, alright, and second…

"You let him in?"

Blaine was on the couch with Rachel and had jumped up as soon as Sam had entered. Granted, Rachel didn't know everything… or anything, actually, but she knew they weren't on good grounds.

"Yes, yes I did because I'm an awesome friend. I'll leave you two to it."

She took her purse and jacket from the armchair and left.

"Sam, I tried to think about the best way to apologise but nothing came to my mind", Blaine said. "Because there simply is no way to say how sorry I am. And there is no excuse for what I have done. I… I brought you this but I know it's doesn't make up for anything."

He held up a DVD box but Sam didn't even look at it. First he brought the ice to the freezer, then he took off his jacket.

Blaine put down the DVDs. "I am sorry, Sam. I am so, so sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?"

Sam puckered his lips. He didn't want to listen to Blaine. Blaine could stay out of his heart forever. But his soft voice and his pleading eyes already started to reach Sam. Still, no, he wouldn't forgive that easy.

"And I want you to know that Kurt isn't the only reason why I fooled around with you. He's not even one reason. It was an excuse to justify it to myself but… truth is I wanted it for so long now."

Yeah, okay, Sam admitted he listened now. He said down in the armchair and gestured Blaine to go on. He did while he sat on the couch.

"I feel so bad about it and I tried to suppress it but you always were… I mean, I was close to suggesting to Kurt we each write a list with persons who we can sleep with without feeling guilty if they ever turned gay and my list would have consisted of only you. Oh God, that sounds horrible. And it is horrible, and I hated myself for feeling that way about you all the time. You are my best friend and I have a boyfriend!"

Sam wasn't sure what he was hearing and if he liked it. Okay, so Blaine had a huge crush on him and that felt good. But at the same time it was only physical. He still loved Kurt. And that, well, didn't feel as good.

"And I enjoyed our little flirts way too much but I always thought you were straight and it didn't mean anything to you. Maybe I even talked myself into thinking you were straight again after your high school bi-phase to make it easier for me." Blaine inhaled and shook his head. "Such… And well, last Saturday…"

He shrugged. "I can only say again how sorry I am. If I had known it meant something for you I wouldn't have."

Sam released his lips from his teeth. He didn't mean to insist talking about Kurt but he asked: "Have you told him now?"

"Not yet."

Sam nodded. "Will you?"

Blaine propped his elbows on his knees and looked down. "Sam… if I tell Kurt… and even if we break up that doesn't mean… you and me will happen again."

Sam bored his fingernails into his palms and pressed his eyes together. Of course not. No one would ever love him, not even Blaine.

"Okay. You can leave now", Sam said without looking at Blaine. After a long moment he heard how the other got up.

"I'm sorry", Blaine whispered as he walked past Sam. There was more rustling and then the door was shot. Sam was alone in the loft.

* * *

Sam got that Blaine didn't want to be his boyfriend or anything. But did that mean they weren't friends, either? Or did he just not call because he wanted to give Sam time? To be fair the way Sam had thrown him out of the loft last week would have raised suspicions that he needed time to get over it, yeah.

Sam had spent the weekend with his new best friend, Ice-Cream-Rachel, and with his other new best friend, Guitar-Elliott, and now he was ready to recruit his old best friend, Nightbird-Blaine, and get him to be his up-to-date best friend again. So on Tuesday on his way to work he sent Blaine a text, asking if he would come to visit him today. He didn't get an answer but around twelve while on his usual book-sorting routine the black hair student showed up, smiling carefully.

"Hey, Sam."

"Blaine, hi!" Was it bad Sam wanted to hug him? They almost hadn't seen each other for a week so…

He didn't go for it but he stopped his work and waited until Blaine had come closer.

"I'm sorry I threw you out."

"No, Sam, no. I deserved it and after the news I had given you… I get it."

Sam nodded. Okay, better not talk about that now, alright? Yeah. Not about Kurt either. Just about normal bro stuff.

Blaine sighed and leaned with one shoulder against some books.

"Have you heard back from the interview?" he asked.

"That, oh, no. I figure they decided for someone else." Sam shrugged. Of course he would get the boring librarian job but not the model one although he actually was a model.

"Oh. Sorry to hear."

Sam nodded.

"I couldn't tell Kurt", Blaine said then quietly. "But, uh, do you even want to hear it?"

"Yes, of course. I'm still your best friend, hit it." Sam did an impatient gesture and was glad that Blaine laughed even though it wasn't funny and Sam had lied. No, he didn't want to hear about it. Though obviously he needed to know what was going on in Blaine's life to be his friend.

"I just fear that all my efforts to make him and me good again would be in vain once he knew. He wouldn't hear anything about it he just…" Blaine snapped his finger. "I'd have to move out and that's it."

"There's still a free spot in the loft." Oh damn, how _desperate_ was Sam? This wasn't about them living together – would he even want that? – it was about Blaine's issues with Kurt.

"I keep it in mind", Blaine said. He leaned with his back against the books and sighed while looking up. "I feel so bad for not telling him. It just was one big…" He bit his lip and anxiously looked at Sam who pretended he didn't know what Blaine had wanted to say. A mistake.

"I said it once and I'm saying it again, this time without making it about me." Sam shrugged. "The first love not automatically means it's the love of your life. Actually in most of the cases it's not."

Blaine frowned and pursed his lips. After a while he said: "And you are sure it's not about you?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Just because I'm in love with you doesn't mean I can't let you be with someone else. I just want you to be happy, actually, _what?_"

Blaine stared at Sam as if he just had said he liked to wear a green bikini for the night.

"You are…" Blaine quickly glanced around and lowered his head as well as his voice. "You are in love with me?"

Sam blinked in confusion. "Well, yeah? I told you last week. That's why we fought, remember?"

"What?" Blaine shook his head. "No. You said you had a crush on me. Actually you didn't say even that, you just hinted it by saying you had wanted to kiss me since high school but at the same time you also liked other people."

"Oh." Sam bit his lip. Yeah, expression skills weren't really his strength.

"And we fought because I have been a jerk." Blaine narrowed his eyes and observed Sam as if trying to get inside his head.

"Uh, well. Guess you know all the details now", Sam said. He was sure he was red like a lobster or something like that.

"Now I feel even worse. Oh my God. You – but – what? How come? And what about Elliott?"

Sam shook his head and sighed. "Look, can we stop having those conversations _here_? Can we meet later in a café or something?"

"Yes, yeah, of course." He pushed away from the shelf but still looked at Sam. "During my break or after school?"

"Don't you want to spend your break with Kurt?"

"Oh. Yeah. Later then."

But suddenly Sam didn't feel like talking so much anymore. Mentions of Kurt had that effect on him. And anyway, why was Blaine so eager to hear about it? He didn't reciprocate so yeah, it didn't matter. Sam told Blaine he'd pick him up after school but maybe he would cancel. And Blaine couldn't even be mad. He had Kurt.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

On Friday not only Kurt and Blaine were still together but they also had agreed to another double date. Sam couldn't stop shaking his head about it. Blaine hadn't told Kurt, man. Sam was bad in keeping secrets!

"_On the night of nights... It's gonna be a night to remember…_"

Sam looked up from the last ice cream he would ever eat in his whole life while he sat cross-legged on Elliott's bed.

"Are you actually quoting High School Musical?"

Elliott stopped singing into his brush and pointed it at Sam. "Shame on you for recognising it. We're even."

"Mh whatever." Sam buried the spoon in the white cream. But suddenly the can was pulled out of his hand. Elliott put it on the bedside table and placed himself in front of Sam. He bored a finger into Sam's chest.

"You, my friend, are way too depressed. We're going out with our crushes, lighten up, man!"

"My crush loves your crush and it will never be any different. Shut up."

"What are you planning on doing with that?" Elliott tousled Sam's hair.

"Nothing, man!"

"Yes, something, man! Uh, I'm going to make you over!"

"No", Sam mumbled. But did he actually care? No, he didn't. So he let Elliott have his fun that consisted of putting a brush, a hair dryer and much styling gel (Blaine would love it, wouldn't he?) into Sam's hair.

* * *

So they went to a gay club and because Sam liked Elliott so much they made out really often. It had nothing to do with Blaine looking slightly irritated by it. Absolutely nothing.

Of course the reason for Blaine's irritation might have been the fact that Sam had told Blaine he was in love with him a few days ago, then hadn't given any details and now made out madly with another guy. But yeah well, not Blaine's problem. He had Kurt. Who he didn't make out with what Sam realised after a few hours in.

One situation in specifically caught his attention. They all had drunk a little and they were standing at a cocktail table. Elliott's arm was around Sam while his other arm was busy guiding a glass to his mouth. Kurt came back from hopping around on the dance floor and snuggled up to Blaine. When he tried to kiss him Blaine moved away and the second time Kurt went for it Blaine gently pushed him back.

"Not now."

Sam raised his eyebrows but quickly looked away when Blaine turned his head. He still felt the others eyes on him so he leaned to Elliott to catch his beer lips.

"So, I did quite a lot for our plan, what about your share?" he eventually said over the loud background music into Elliott's ear.

Elliott shrugged. "I don't know what… how… your situation is so much easier, man."

"Excuse me? It so isn't!" Sam shook his head. Weeks of pain and agony lay behind him and Elliott told him he had it easy? Yeah, right.

"Go and dance with him. Now." Sam grinningly slapped Elliott's arse and the singer even obeyed. Yup, that was how things had to be.

Kurt agreed and the two of them went away. Sam focused on his beer and looked around until Blaine eventually rounded the table and stood next to him. Since the music was still loud he leaned close to Sam to talk to him.

"Having fun?"

Sam nodded. Then he leaned to Blaine's ear in return and said: "You, too?"

Now Blaine nodded. He fumbled with his glass and observed people around them. Sam smiled because he liked Blaine. He liked being close to him. It was just great. And, because it was a great idea, too, he laid his hand on Blaine's that was on the table and lightly caressed it. Blaine flinched and looked at Sam, who still smiled. Why hadn't he had such a great idea much sooner?

But Blaine pulled back his hand. Damn, man!

"Sam, we're not…"

"We would make the best couple ever, Blaine."

"Mh." Blaine glanced around but Kurt was nowhere to be seen. And really, Sam didn't want to be second choice. But still… Blaine was so great!

"We would." Sam observed Blaine's angel face. Why couldn't he just love Sam, why?

Blaine exhaled and let his head hang down. Sam was about to pout and maybe whine a bit when his best friend grabbed his hand again (yay!) and pulled him to the dance floor. Only later when Sam could think clearer again did he realise what a genius distraction manoeuvre it had been.

* * *

The doorbell rang _way_ too loud. Sam put a pillow over his head and moaned. It was Saturday, for heaven's sake. No visitors!

A few minutes later he took the pillow from his head and heard people talking in the loft. Wait! That was Blaine's voice! Of course Blaine was always welcome here. Sam got up, put his slippers on and walked out.

"Hey, bro", he said with a little yawn. Blaine was radiating cold while he put off his hat and jacket. But the most interesting thing was a suitcase standing next to him. It kind of made Sam's heart leap.

"You…" He cleared his throat. "Are you going to move in?"

"Yeah, if that's okay with Rachel?" While Blaine hung his jacket at the wardrobe he looked at Rachel who nodded.

"Of course it is okay, silly. I don't even want to know what happened. But what happened? Did you and Kurt fight, I mean, more than usual?"

"We did", Blaine affirmed. Sam stared at him, on the edge of asking if he had told him. But if he hadn't and Rachel would sense something was going on… worst idea ever.

"Did you break up?" Sam asked instead.

"Tsk! Sam!" Rachel said.

Sam didn't take his attention from Blaine who held his eyes.

"We're, uh, taking a break", he said. Damn, Sam shouldn't have been so glad about that. Because firstly it wasn't something nice for Blaine and secondly it meant it wasn't over completely. He still was tied to Kurt. He wouldn't just give him up to be with Sam; how often did Sam have to remind himself?

"You do!? Oh, oh, why?" Rachel asked.

"Tsk, Rachel, so inappropriate", Sam said. Then he looked at Blaine and only silently asked him why.

Blaine deflated. "Okay, you'll hear it from him soon enough anyway. Because of us, Sam. I told him. I couldn't bear it anymore and, well, he didn't like it."

"He didn't like _what?_" Rachel crossed her arms. She looked reproachfully at Sam although she didn't even know what it was about. But she was right anyway, oh man.

"We… Sam and I had… we…" Blaine stuttered. "Had a… fling?" He narrowed his eyes as if questioning his word but Rachel didn't pause on it. She started to scream.

"What? Sam I _told_ you to keep your hands to yourself, I told you! Oh, why didn't I know sooner? When did it happen and what even happened, what have you _done?_"

Sam scratched his neck and went to sit on the couch. Because of _them_. Shit, he was the worst person ever because he loved the sound of _them_. He should feel sorry for Blaine but he didn't. Oh fuck.

"We had a little adventure. Uhm, can I get some tea?" Blaine said.

"_An adventure!?"_

"Oh my God, Rachel, calm down!" Sam said. "We got it on, yes. Do you want to know details?"

"Yes!"

Okay, why did he even ask? Sam shook his head while Blaine flew to the kitchen. Not that it was very far away.

"So you two are together now, or what? Am I living with a gay couple again?"

"No, Rachel, don' be silly", Blaine said.

"Excuse me?" Now Sam was the excited one. "What's so silly about the thought we could be together?"

"I didn't mean it like that, Sam, come one."

How could Blaine stay that calm? He put water into the kettle, switched it on and took a cup.

"But I don't _get_ it", Rachel said. "Why would you… have an amorous adventure if you two didn't love each other? You are best friends and you don't just hop into bed with a friend you've known for years."

"My saying", Sam mumbled.

"Are you kidding? Of course that is what happens, Rachel. People do it all the time and regret it later!" Blaine leaned against the counter and crossed his arms.

Sam held a hand in front of his eyes and tried to breathe normally. Regret. He regretted it. Sam had known it but… but…

"Oh just great, now you made him cry", Rachel said.

"I'm sorry but it's the way it is", Blaine said. "I'm not giving up on Kurt because of a stupid crush I have on my best friend. I am not."

Sam didn't look up but from the sounds of it Blaine tried to tear down the mug cupboard. The couch sank in and then an arm lay on his shoulders. Sam leaned against it, snuggled up to the girl who he had thought was on Kurt's side and dared to cry a bit.

"There, there", Rachel said. "Don't despair."

"You're rhyming", Sam whimpered.

"And it's helping, isn't it?"

Sam shrugged. Not really but it was a nice attempt, he figured. Just why did Rachel have to comfort him when Blaine was here? Oh right because Blaine had made him cry. Just… _why?_

"I'm going back to bed", Sam announced as he let go of Rachel. He didn't even throw a glance at Blaine in the kitchen, and one moment later the darkness of his blanket surrounded him. Right, he'd stay here forever now.

* * *

The next time Sam had to work with Kurt it was simply horrifying. He didn't talk to him except short orders that were work related but he threw him mean, hateful glances. Sam would have been able to deal with it if at least he would have deserved it and actually had stolen Blaine from Kurt but Kurt was still the one who held Blaine's heart and Sam got nothing. So naturally he didn't put up with those glances and returned it whenever he had the chance.

"Emergency meeting tonight at my place", Elliott murmured to Sam as soon as Kurt was busy with costumers. "I can't believe the news! Our plan is ace!"

"What?"

"Be there at eight and bring beer. I will cook curry." Elliott patted Sam's shoulder and went away.

Getting home after work wasn't much better. Yes, Blaine was there in the evenings and if Sam wanted or not he lived for those moments but they were painful nonetheless. Because all Blaine did was talk about Kurt. With every day that passed Sam managed to talk himself out a little more of that stupid feeling that he and Blaine were each other's love of their lives. Because it was a silly crush, as Blaine put it. And Blaine had to know; after all he knew what real love felt like thanks to Kurt. So as long Sam had no comparison he should shut up and not listen to the voice that said love is making each other feel good, supporting the other, admiring him…

"Sam, come here. Come here", Blaine said with his heavenly voice. What was he doing? Sam went to the table where Blaine had put on some action figures. He sat down next to the beautiful man who now turned to him, his hands together in a pleading gesture.

"Sam, I know, things have been… tense lately but we are still friends, right?"

"Yeah?"

"And I know this is very much to ask and I wouldn't be mad if you said no but…"

Sam raised his eyebrows. If Blaine wanted a kiss he sure wouldn't say no.

"I want to win Kurt back. First his trust, of course, and it would be very nice if you'd help me with that. We just need to hang out all together so Kurt can see there is nothing between us whatsoever."

And _swoops_ the arrow hit its goal that was Sam's heart. It actually hurt physically but Sam managed to not let it show.

"Uh…" He viewed the actions figures consisting of Captain America, the Hulk, the fox from 'The Fox And The Hound' and a little Captain Sparrow figure from a Kellogg's box. Sam cleared his throat and took up the fox.

"What, uh…?"

"This is Elliott", Blaine said. He took Sparrow and held him in front of Sam's nose. "This is you. I was trying to figure out a strategy."

"And?"

"Well, hanging out."

"So you are Steve and Kurt is Bruce?"

"Kurt is Captain America, it suits him better."

"Uhu."

"Sam, what are you saying? Will you help me? Please?"

"I'm not sure how I could help."

"Just be yourself."

Sam shrugged. "I can do that." He'd rather not mention that being himself included flirting with or even kissing Blaine. To distract himself he took Sparrow out of Blaine's hand.

"_Arr, it's a savvy plan!"_ he said in Jack Sparrow's voice and let the figure walk over Blaine's hand. Blaine giggled.

"Thank you, Sam. I'm glad it doesn't stand between us."

"_Sam, who is Sam? I'm Captain Jack Sparrow!_"

He just couldn't meet Blaine on a serious level right now, he couldn't. And he loved it when Blaine's eyes beamed like that. It made the pain more bearable.

"You know what, I'm really in the mood to watch a movie now", Blaine said. "Are you in?"

Sam pulled the figure back and observed it while he bit his lip. He could just rain check with Elliott. Who was he to say no when Blaine asked for his companionship?

But Blaine also wanted to be best friends again and nothing else. And while Sam was in on the long run tonight he needed to whine about it. To Elliott. So he shook his head, no matter how hard it was.

"Can't. Have a date with El."

"Oh. Right."

Blaine glided back and exhaled while Sam put the figure down. He was about to get up when…

"So, is it something serious with you and Elliott?"

Sam wetted his lips and leaned back on the couch, head turned to Blaine. His cheerful eyes from a minute ago were gone and instead he looked a bit disinterested at his hands. Wait. This wasn't Blaine's normal behaviour if he wanted to know what was going on. He seemed reserved and calculating. Sam could almost feel the vibe of displeasure coming from him… or did he make that up? Blaine wasn't jealous, Blaine had Kurt. Or, well, loved Kurt.

"Yeah, we're heading there", Sam said. Now he was the calculating one but he needed to study Blaine's reaction.

"Oh. Well. I'm glad for you." Blaine didn't meet his eyes. He leaned forward and gathered the figures together. Sam frowned but didn't say anything anymore. He was too taken aback by Blaine's weirdness. He sure as hell hadn't sounded glad. But did it mean anything?


	13. Chapter 13

Thank you gleeville. I will ;-)

* * *

Chapter 13

Of course Elliottt had a theory about Blaine's behaviour.

"It's simple! He loves you and is jealous that we are together even though we are not."

"But he had a crush on me all this time and he always seemed sincerely glad about you and me", Sam said. Beer and curry was on the table in front of him and American Idol was on but somehow he couldn't relax. Blaine's disappointed reaction just wouldn't leave his head.

"I know why", Sam said. "It's because I wouldn't watch a movie with him. That's the only reason. He didn't want to be alone."

"Have you ever before said no when he wanted something?"

"Uhm… is that a trick question?" Sam narrowed his eyes at the man sitting next to him. "How could I say no to _Blaine?_"

Elliott nodded and put a fork full of curry into his mouth. "Shish ish why."

"Dude! Some manners would be nice."

Elliott gulped and wiped over his mouth. "That's it. You were always there for him. He had you and Kurt. Now he lost his boyfriend and you…"

"Oh my God! I should've have stayed, I should have!" Sam jumped up but Elliott grabbed his sleeve and pulled him back down.

"Calm down! It's good you said no. He'll realise that it's not self-evidently that you spend all your time with him. He will start to miss you and _boom_ before you know it he asks you to marry him."

Sam frowned.

"Okay, well, maybe first agree to be your boyfriend. It's just that he never had to worry about you. you kind of were his platonic boyfriend. That's all cool of course but not always being available… It will help our plan." Elliott nodded and took up his beer can.

"Our plan. Right." Sam leaned back and watched Jennifer Lopez for a moment. Then he turned his head to Elliott.

"Blaine made me promise to help him get Kurt back."

Elliott chocked and started to cough. Sam quickly hit his back. As a reward his friend looked at him with utter disgust.

"You didn't say yes, right?"

"I kind of did, yeah."

"You _idiot!_"

"Well, he only said I should be myself so what should I do, anyway?"

"Never stop flirting – wait." Elliott's eyes got pretty big and then, all of a sudden, he grinned. It was scary.

"Sam, you are a _genius!_"

"Oh, now I am. Why?"

Elliott put his beer and the plate with curry away and turned to Sam while he pulled on leg onto the couch.

"Of course! I was too occupied with the usual way of flirting to get someone's attention. But I forgot the other, even more effective way: Ignoring them."

"Huh?"

"You and me, we just have to play a real couple and that will drive Blaine mad. Ha!" He held up his hand but Sam didn't high-five him. Instead he crossed his arms.

"Blaine won't _care_. Blaine wants Kurt back."

Elliott took his hand down. "Kurt will never take him back, anyway. I talked to him and Kurt is more than furious about the repetition of cheating. They are over and Blaine will realise it soon enough."

"And what if Blaine is only jealous and stuff because additionally to his boyfriend his best friend also seems to leave?"

"But you are not leaving! You still spend much time with him. Just… when he is trying to win Kurt back and you and I are very occupied with each other, well, then why would he be jealous?"

Sam thought about it. "You could be right. I mean he me wants to show Kurt there is nothing going on between us so I guess he asked for this. If he was jealous still… that would be nice."

"It would be, oh yeah. And I'm doing it for you, aren't I the best? Cause me and Kurt, we talk a lot these days."

"Congratulations. Do you think it's going somewhere…?"

"Yeah, I think it does." Elliott tried to be all chilly but Sam saw his excitement and had to laugh about it. It was a funny evening. He wished he would spend it with Blaine but Elliott's plan for once didn't sound that bad.

* * *

Meeting Kurt still wasn't the most delightful thing. Why he had even agreed to a chummily evening Sam didn't know. He suspected it was because of Rachel. She still had something to say in Kurt's world. Of course Rachel wasn't let in on 'The Plan' – yes, with capital letters now – so she was a silent co-worker.

As soon as Elliott entered the loft Sam clung to him. It was hard not paying Blaine all of his attention but it also was relieving to leave it in the hands of fate instead of constantly trying to reach his heart. So yeah, Sam kissed Elliott now and then and let the other man lay an arm around his shoulders. It really wasn't unpleasant.

"And now… ice cream! If Sam hasn't eaten all of it." Rachel got up and gathered together the empty plates.

"Haha", Sam said. As if he'd do such a thing! He still was a model who needed to watch out for his weight.

Kurt helped Rachel and when they were at the dish washer, talking, Blaine threw them a glance and eventually leaned forward with narrowed eyes.

"Just… don't overdo it."

"What, me?" Sam asked in surprise. "I swear I haven't eaten all of the ice cream!"

"You know what I mean." Blaine shook his head and folded his napkin.

"He means us, pumpkin", Elliott said. He leaned to Sam and pressed a kiss on his cheek. "But what can you do against love?"

Okay, Sam saw what Blaine meant with '_overdoing it_' now. But he smiled at Elliott as if he adored every word… and silly nickname he uttered.

"Oh, come on!" Blaine said. He couldn't complain more since Rachel and Kurt came back now. Sam smiled on the inside because on the outside would be too suspicious. Yes! Blaine _was_ jealous! How great was that? Sam might be wrong but he thought it was the best fucking feeling in the whole world – well besides actually fucking.

They moved to the couches where everything went further on. Sam got the weirdest kink out of flirting with Elliott and watching Blaine's dismissive looks. If it hadn't been such a serious situation he would have laughed about it.

After some time Kurt yawned.

"Well, I have to say, it was better than expected. A little bit weird…" He glanced at Sam and Elliott. "But okay. If you excuse me now, I have to get up early tomorrow."

While Rachel walked him to the door Sam looked at Blaine.

"Don't you want to say goodbye to him in private?"

"I know what you're doing."

Sam raised his eyebrows. Oh really, did Blaine know?

"And it's not working." Blaine got up and went to the others.

"Oh, it is working", Elliott grinned.

"I want to laugh, too, but wouldn't that be mean?"

"Yeah, probably. Just disregard Blaine and kiss me."

Sam shrugged. One evening of fun, yeah, he deserved it. So he met Elliott's lips with his own. He liked that Elliott tasted like he smelled, very much like a rock'n roll babe. Because that was what he was!

"Oh, wasn't that lovely! Oh, isn't it great that you and Kurt can be in the same room without jumping at each other's throats", Rachel said. Sam heard her footsteps coming nearer.

"Okay, that's enough now", Blaine said with his _not-funny_-voice. Sam ended the kiss and looked up, lazily licking over his lips. Rachel looked a bit shocked at Blaine who stood there, arms crossed and eyes not leaving Sam.

"Blaine. You wanted Kurt to know that there is nothing between us and now he knows", Sam said.

"No matter what I asked of you it didn't give you any right to just go and… and… snog with…" Blaine waved to Elliott.

"Hey, hey, I have feelings, too, you know?" Elliott said.

"What is going on?" Rachel asked. Sam sighed and leaned back completely from Elliott. Fact was that his stomach was twirling round and round, as well as his head. Had Blaine finally realised he wanted to be with him?

"If this ends in drama I'm gone", Elliott said. He looked at Sam. "Do you want me to stay or…"

Sam shrugged and then, on a whim of rebellion, he nodded. "Yeah, stay. I don't know what Blaine is all about. He knows we're together."

Blaine's mouth was just one little line by now and his forehead a big fat frown.

"This is not funny, Sam."

"It wasn't meant to be."

They stared at each other for a few moments until Blaine gave a frustrated moan and turned around. He vanished in his compartment and closed the curtains with much force.

"Huh", Elliott said.

"What…" Rachel looked around in confusion. Poor girl.

"Sorry for that, Rach." Sam got up and stretched his arms. Elliott also got up and went to get his things. Sam felt weirdly powerful. He had gotten what he had wanted from this evening; and he had shown Blaine that he just couldn't command Sam around and expect him to be there within a heartbeat. No, if he wanted Sam's attention he had to fight for it just like Sam fought for Blaine all this time.

So, as hard as it was, he packed some things and went home with Elliott. It would give Blaine some time to cool down… and hopefully realise who he really wanted to be with.


	14. Chapter 14

Thank you for reading and reviewing :-) I hope you like today's chapter^^

Chapter 14

When Sam came home from work the next day he expected more drama or at least the silence treatment. What he didn't expect and honestly not even wanted was an apology. He wanted more tension that would finally resolve in sex.

"I'm sorry, I was _so_ out of line yesterday", Blaine said. He stood there as if he had waited for Sam to come home all day long. Sam frowned and took off his jacket.

"That's right, you were."

"I was just confused because until now you and Elliott never really seemed… in love."

Sam nodded. He put his jacket on the wardrobe and got out of his shoes.

"But of course you are allowed to love people", Blaine said. "And move on from me."

Sam didn't look up as he kicked his shoes against the wall. "How gracious of you."

When he turned around and looked into Blaine's unsure eyes he couldn't help but offer a small smile. Oh God, how could he ever stay mad at Blaine? The black haired man returned the smile and opened his arms.

"Hug it out?"

Sam never said no to Blaine hugs but when they were in each other's arms he realised it was the first time they hugged after… the incident. It raised his body temperature pretty much. Still, he pretended as if nothing was going on and went to look for a snack afterwards. It helped that his feelings were brought down by Blaine's lack of care regarding Sam apparently moving on from him.

Sam should do it for real, actually. There wasn't any hope left when it came to Blaine. Yes, yesterday had felt like a victory but it had turned out to be nothing. Confused Blaine. Oh man.

"So, it's like that now?" Blaine came to the kitchen. Sam leaned against the counter and ate an apple. It was time he added more healthy snacks to his diet, anyway. He threw Blaine a questioningly glance.

"I mean, you're in love with Elliott?" Blaine opened the fridge and looked inside but then he closed the door without having taken anything.

For a few moments Sam's brain was blank. He didn't want to lie. But he also didn't want to tell Blaine again he loved him. It only would lead to more disappointment. And if he managed to let Blaine believe he was over it they could go back to being best friends and that was a really good plan, right?

"We're good for each other", he said. It was vague enough.

Blaine nodded. "Okay." He inhaled, then he smiled. It didn't look very happy, though, and it broke Sam's heart. Blaine should be happy.

"So, uh, what about you and Kurt? On the road back together?" Sam asked.

"Sam, I have to confess something."

"Yeah?"

Blaine took a deep breath. "I lied when I said we're taking a break. Kurt said we were over for good. And that he never forgave me for cheating the first time and how he had just waited for me to do it again; and that this time it was even worse because it wasn't with some barely known friend but with you. We had fought way too often because Kurt thought I paid you too much attention or he didn't like the way we were with each other."

"Oh…" Sam licked over his apple-juicy lips and put the apple aside. It wasn't surprising to hear it but he was so, so glad Blaine finally opened up about everything. Now Sam just had to watch out to not ruin the moment.

Blaine sat down on a kitchen chair and drove a hand over his face.

"And the worst is I knew it would end like that. I knew it even before we… Am I some kind of masochist? I mean…" He looked up at Sam, his eyes so desperate Sam was ready to tell him whatever he needed to hear.

"In that moment before I kissed you the voice in my head said I shouldn't, and Kurt would find out, and he would break up with me and I so didn't care. It's almost as if I wanted it to happen. As if I was trying to find a way out without actually having to own up to it."

"Wait, what? Are you saying you wanted to end things with Kurt?"

"No, that is the whole point! I never ever thought about breaking up with Kurt. Yet I was… like…" Blaine shook his head. "It was just so weird, as if I wanted to provoke Kurt or… make him feel bad. I'm really the worst person ever. Instead of talking about my pent-up frustration I go and cheat again. On purpose. I shouldn't be in any relationship ever again."

Sam bit his lip. He didn't know what to think about all of it. He got it that Blaine would feel some not so nice feelings towards Kurt after more than a year of an unfulfilling relationship but he didn't get the whole thing about Blaine knowing Kurt would break up with him and still go for it.

"Don't say that. You're not a bad person, Blaine, things with Kurt just weren't like you expected them to be. Maybe one day you will find somehow with who it will be as perfect as Kurt and you have been in high school."

Blaine sighed and shook his head. "And on top of my behaviour towards Kurt I used you. I'm the _worst_ person there is."

Sam went to sit opposite to Blaine and lay his hand on Blaine's arm. "No, stop. You didn't use me. You said yourself you had… you wanted it for some time."

Blaine shot Sam a furious glance. "What does it matter? I didn't mean to commit to you; I only did it to get back at Kurt and to satisfy my own needs. I didn't think of you and your feelings for even one second."

"But you apologised and I forgave you."

"Yeah, you did." Blaine patted Sam's hand. "Because you're the best human being on earth. Still it destroyed my relationship with Kurt forever and I feel even guiltier than back in high school. But I deserve it like that."

"You don't. You know, it actually was Kurt's fault because he never trusted you in the first place. If he had you wouldn't have fought about me and you would have had the best relationship ever."

Blaine snorted. "Yeah." He looked doubtingly at the table. "What if we never were meant to be in the first place?"

Oh, big words. Sam tried to stay neutral and not pull an impressed face. Though he had one issue with Blaine's view of stuff like that.

"You know, Blaine, I don't think things are set in stone. People change and so do their relationships."

Blaine shrugged. "I haven't changed. I'm still the same jerk I have been in high school."

"Stop turning yourself into the enemy, Blaine. You're not!"

"You wouldn't talk like that if we were together and I would have cheated on you", Blaine hissed.

"I wouldn't have to because you wouldn't. If we were together we would talk about our problems and solve them. And you wouldn't have someone you wanted to sleep with so badly that you risked our relationship for it."

Blaine looked at Sam.

"How would you know?" he whispered. "Maybe I'm a man hungry… you know what."

"I know you're not", Sam said equally quiet. He glided a bit forwards on his chair. "And whatever sexual needs you have… I would fulfil them."

Blaine gulped and looked at the table again. "Uhm…"

Sam realised he had crossed a border. He glided back and cleared his throat. "Theoretically, that is. Hey, do you want to watch a movie?"

He wanted. Sam was glad for a distraction and chose a Dreamworks movie to keep his thoughts PG-rated. He'd have to resolve to things like that if he wanted to keep up his friendship with Blaine. He also sat down far enough to not touch him. But halfway in the movie Blaine leaned with a big sigh against Sam, head on his shoulder. Sam figured it would be the best for the friendship if they behaved like always so he put an arm around Blaine and leaned his head against Blaine's.

"What else?" Blaine whispered. Sam assumed he was talking to Marty ranting about his zebra stripes and didn't answer until Blaine lifted his head and looked at him.

"Huh?"

"What else would be if we were together?"

The heat rushing through Sam took his breath away. He needed to answer, though.

"Well, I would bring you flowers every day and tell you what an awesome person you are."

A little smile appeared on Blaine's face. "Yeah?"

"Obviously." Sam reached for Blaine's hand and intertwined their fingers. Blaine laid his head back on Sam's shoulder. With his free hand he stroked over Sam's.

"I would do everything to make you happy."

Sam frowned. "What? No. You have to do what makes _you_ happy."

"But…" Blaine looked at him again.

"Blaine, a relationship is not about pleasing the other. I mean, uh, obviously it is but not like that. Look at me, I did everything to make my girlfriends happy but they left me and it made me unhappy. Now with Elliott we're more… I don't know we kind of still have our own goals and stuff and it works. I mean yeah, it's not the biggest love but I can imagine in a real relationship it would work like that, too."

Blaine sat up and took his hand back. "What do you mean, not the biggest love? Not a real relationship? You just told me you love him."

"Uh." DAMN. Sam should really start thinking before talking. "I was… uh…"

"What is going on, Sam?" Blaine glided back and looked at him with the earnest look ever.

"Nothing, nothing is going on", Sam said. How could he talk his way out of that now? His cover needed to remain intact!

"I mean, uh, it started like a hook up, you know? Now it's…" Sam bit his lip. He couldn't lie actively!

"Then why did you just say it's not the biggest love?"

"Because… because…" Sam drove a hand over his face. Shit. It was too late already. Blaine knew now. Sam took down his hand and sighed.

"Because it still isn't. Still just a hook-up."

Blaine's jaw dropped. "But you said… you love…"

"I didn't; I said we're good for each other and it's true. What is this, an interrogation? It's none of your business what I feel for Elliott."

And his second mistake. Blaine's face immediately got repelling. He shook his head to himself and stood up.

"You're right, it isn't. Sorry for trying to be your friend."

Sam distorted his face while Blaine stormed away. He was such an idiot and now everything was ruined. Forever.

* * *

Elliott wasn't happy. But, and Sam really didn't know how he did it, he also wasn't unhappy. Instead the shrugged and pushed his spoon into his ice cream (Sam cursed himself for giving this bad habit to Elliott – it needed to stop).

"Pity. The jealousy plan was kind of good. But well." Elliott put the ice into his mouth and kept watching TV. "It wasn't working any good for me and Kurt anyway. He didn't seem that jealous, only irritated."

"I thought you and him have talked so much lately."

"Well yeah, we have. But apparently not enough."

"Then talk more! Live every moment as if it was your last because the end will come sooner than you think."

Elliot stopped eating and turned his head to Sam, forehead in frowns.

"Nothing has ended yet. Gosh, how did you ever survive life with your pessimism?"

"It's not pessimism it's facts. Everybody has left me."

Elliott rolled his eyes and faced the TV again. "It's normal that you get left throughout the years. But it's not a good idea to make it into a personal quest of 'Nobody loves me', come on."

"I don't even care about people anymore. It's all about Blaine. Blaine will never love me, not like that."

Elliot moaned now and looked at him again. "If you keep up this pity party I'm going to ask you to leave. Man, how can you even think it's hopeless? He risked his relationship with Kurt to hook up with you. He's not dumb, you know, he knew it would have consequences. I think the one thing that keeps him from opening his eyes is the fact that he's so used to lying to himself he just doesn't see how things really are. Meaning he loves _you_. Or have you forgotten how jealous he was?"

"He just acted that way because he was surprised about us."

"Uhuh, surprise looks different." Elliott stared at the TV. "In fact it looks like Kurt has acted. Damn."

Sam scratched his neck. Was Elliott right? Blaine had seemed jealous, true. And yesterday he had started to accept that he and Kurt were actually over. Maybe Sam should wait a bit and see what would happen.


	15. Chapter 15

Hey! So... last chapter! I want to thank everyone for reading my story, and leaving a comment or two. ;-) I hope you enjoyed it.^^

* * *

Chapter 15

Since a lie had made them fight Sam decided it was time for the truth once again. If they were to fight or not talk to each other it was better if it was due to the truth. So yeah. One afternoon when Rachel wasn't home yet and Blaine was studying in his section Sam went to it. Since there wasn't any door he knocked against the wall.

"What?" Blaine asked.

"Can we talk?"

"Why, all you say to me is lies."

"That's unfair, Blaine, and totally not true."

Blaine sighed. Sam heard footsteps and then the curtains were opened. Blaine's look told him he got one chance and not more. But he didn't need more, anyway.

They went to the living room area where Blaine sat down in the armchair and crossed his arms. Sam sat down on the couch and put his hands between his knees.

"Okay, look. Yes, Elliott and I were exaggerating our love for each other because…" Sam took a deep breath. "Because I wanted to see if you would be jealous. I never moved on and I didn't tell you about it because I didn't want you to freak out. We can still be friends. Or not. If you don't want to talk to me you still should know the truth so… that's it."

Blaine stared at the table and chew on his lip. "You lied to me, Sam, that's what it is about."

"What should I have said, huh? Oh yeah, Elliott and me were just pretending to love each other because I'm a lovesick fool who can't get his shit together?"

Blaine shrugged. Sam leaned back on the couch and tried to calm down by looking at the black TV screen. He'd rather not think about how Blaine hadn't reacted at all to Sam confessing his love once again.

"Okay, uhm…" Blaine cleared his throat. "I see why you did it. Doesn't mean I forgive you but, well…" He shrugged again. They sat in quiet for a few moments. Sam didn't know how things would go on. Could he really with best friends with Blaine and pretend he felt nothing else? Until now it hadn't worked.

"Well, uhm…" Blaine cleared his throat. "I have to admit it has worked. Getting me jealous."

Sam's eyes flew to Blaine and his heart started dancing. What… Okay, he shouldn't get his hopes up too early so better wait what else Blaine had to say.

But he didn't say anything anymore. He stared at the table, didn't even meet Sam's eyes. And Sam really, really didn't know what to say. He would mess it up no matter what he said so he stayed quiet.

"I don't know why", Blaine eventually continued in a low voice. "I love Kurt, right? It's just a crush I have on you."

Sam puckered his lips. "A crush is something, too."

"I know it is. And… not to offend you but I tried talking myself out of it for so long I don't know any other way to deal with it. Like, you telling me you like me? I hear it but it doesn't reach me. The voice that says '_Sam will never love you'_ is _so_ loud." Blaine propped his arms on his knees and rubbed over his face.

Sam nodded. Now no one could stop his heart from rushing anymore. "Try not listening to it. It's lying."

Blaine smiled vaguely. Whoa, he was so cute when he smiled. But also when he didn't. He was generally cute and adorable and beautiful.

"Yeah, I'll try."

Sam smiled back. Now they would kiss, right?

But Blaine leaned back and exhaled. "Well, I'm glad we talked because I hate fighting with you."

Sam nodded as an answer, then Blaine got up and went to continue his studies.

Well. At least it was progress… right?

* * *

TIME JUMP SIX MONTHS

* * *

Sam took the application and put it into an envelope. Yes, it had come this far. Rachel and Blaine had succeeded in talking him into 'doing something with his life'. He didn't even know what they were about since he _was_ doing something but whatever. They had said they'd help him if he couldn't cope with the homework at Pratt so they apparently really wanted him in college. And why not. Working at the _Spotlight_ diner and in NYADA's library got boring, anyway.

"I'm going now", he said. "If anyone wants to stop me from applying they should speak now or forever hold their peace."

"I wouldn't dream of it." Blaine said from where he sat on the kitchen table, reading a newspaper.

"Since you've got nothing to do you could just as well accompany me. Who knows if I'll get robbed on my way to the mail box?"

"Yeah, I'm sure people desperately want to steal your application", Blaine laughed. But he got up so Sam didn't complain. The way to the mail box wasn't very long and on their way back they got Thai take-outs which they spread all over the living room table back in the loft. Rachel was almost never homes these days since her Funny Girl production has started so it was only the two of them. And, as always, Sam had nothing to complain about that.

He didn't really know what was going in between him and Blaine. Officially nothing. But Blaine didn't talk about Kurt anymore and when they met him he afterwards never whined about how he wanted him back or anything. Sam took it as a good sign. He knew he was waiting for Blaine. And why shouldn't he. Blaine sometimes gave little hints that he was feeling something, too, though he of course had to recover from that long relationship with Kurt he had been in. So Sam waited patiently.

"Well, as your reward for having finished the application you are allowed to pick a movie of your choice", Blaine said as he settled down on the couch.

"How very gracious, your highness."

Sam picked some dance movie – hey, sometimes he wanted to admire dancers, okay – and put it in the DVD player.

"Ah, finally you recognised my true state of being", Blaine said.

"You wish!" Sam sat down next to him and playfully hit his arm. Blaine laughed. It was good to see him as relaxed as he had been in the last weeks. Sam liked it so much he really had to restrain himself from not beaming at Blaine every day, every hour. Sometimes he couldn't hold back though. And sometimes Blaine even returned it.

Half an hour later the doorbell rang. Sam went to open it because he was a nice guy. Turned out he also was a popular guy. There was a delivery man at the door who gave him a bouquet of mixed red flowers, tulips, roses, azaleas…

"What? Are you sure it's for me?" Sam asked.

"Is there another Sam Evans living in this building?"

"Uh, no."

"Then I'm sure."

Sam signed the delivery and the man went away, leaving him with the flowers. Sam closed the door and didn't know what to do.

"Whoa, somebody likes you", Blaine commended with raised eyebrows. "Who is it from?"

"It's not saying", Sam said. He had checked the card already. Anonymous. But who…? Since he and Elliott had broken up a few months ago because Elliott had finally convinced Kurt to pay him boyfriend-attention he had been more than single. No, not even a real single since in his mind he was Blaine's.

Sam put the flowers in a vase and left them standing on the kitchen table. Maybe they were from Rachel as a platonic thank you for not eating her ice cream anymore (it had taken him only four months to stop that habit) and she would comment on it.

One hour later the door went again. Very mistrustful Sam went to open it. If it was another flower boy…

It wasn't. It was three guys in a weird red uniform.

"Are you Sam Evans?" one of them asked. Sam nodded while eying them, and they immediately started to sing.

"_There's a new wind blowing like I've never known  
I'm breathing deeper than I've even done  
And it sure feels good to finally feel the way I do  
I want to love somebody, love somebody like you." (*)  
_

Huh… now Rachel was really overdoing it. Or wasn't it from her? Maybe from Elliott as a thank you that they broke up… three months ago. No?

"Uh, thank you, guys. From who…?" Sam asked. The leader just winked and they went away.

"A singing greeting. This is like Harry Potter all over again", Blaine laughed. He suddenly stood next to Sam and looked way too amused.

"It's not funny! I want to be admired knowingly or not at all", Sam mumbled.

"Aww, give them a chance."

"Can we continue watching the movie now?"

"You know, Sam, I really think you should search the flowers for a hint from who they are", Blaine said with a wink as he went back to the couch. It went right into Sam's guts and his heart. Wait… what? Sam hurried to the table and pulled the flowers out of the vase, knocking it over in the process. Water spilled on the table.

"Shit", Sam mumbled… and went on looking through the flowers. Then he found it, clanging to a shaft. A small Captain Jack Sparrow figure. What did that mean now? Had Blaine… was it from Blaine?

When he turned to his friends to ask him Blaine had vanished. Confused Sam went to the couches and glanced around.

"Blaine…?"

"Oh my God, Sam, look what I just found in front of your curtains! How did it get there?"

Blaine appeared and held up a small gift-wrapped box. "Somebody broke into our loft! How scary is that?"

"Uh..."

"Do you think it's a bomb?" Blaine held his ear to the box and listened. Then he shook his head. "It's not ticking. I think it's safe to open it."

Sam really didn't know what to say. There had been no box in front of his curtain-door when he had exited his room earlier so either it had happened when they had been out to get the food or Blaine was lying.

Anyway, Sam took it and sat down to open it. Blaine took place right next to him, excited like a child and Sam would've chuckled about it if he hadn't been so confused about what was going on.

He tore apart the wrapping paper and threw it to the ground. It was a DVD box; special edition of '_Avatar_', and a card was lying on it. It was a Valentine's card with many hearts. Sam opened it and read _'Sorry I kept you waiting. For what it's worth I suffered horribly with every missed opportunity to kiss you. If you still want me I'm yours. By the way… Lor Menari.'_

Sam's jaw dropped. Someone had told him in Na'vi that he had beautiful eyes. Maybe even someone who clang to his arm right now and watched his every move?

Sam slowly turned his head to Blaine whose eye were pretty _lor_, too. And so excited.

"Have you…?"

Blaine started to grin.

"Oh… oh my God! What? Is this real, Blaine, or am I dreaming?"

"Maybe both Sam, maybe both. So?"

"Yes, of course I still want you! What a silly question."

"Oh! I was worrying that I kept you waiting for too long", Blaine said. "Especially since I never said you should wait and just… I just didn't say anything, did I? But I didn't want to make you false hopes as long as I wasn't sure if I could trust my feelings."

"And now? Do you trust them now?"

Blaine nodded. When he answered his voice was quieter and his tone more sincere. "All the time I was telling myself it's just a crush I lied to myself, Sammy. I was in love with you. I _am_ in love with you."

He took Sam's hand and they locked eyes. Sam let himself drown and this time, finally, he didn't have to be careful and pull out anytime soon. He could put his whole mind to Blaine.

"If I hadn't been such a fool and paid attention to my feelings instead of clinging to Kurt because I thought I had to make things _right_ again I would have realised it much earlier", Blaine said. "I never stopped thinking about you since high school. Kurt noticed it too, of course, that's why we fought so often."

"Oh my God." Sam couldn't believe what he heard. He would have accepted 'I fell in love with you in the last months' but this was even better!

"So, are you saying the one time we… here on the couch, it actually meant something for you, too?"

"Of course it did, Sam. How could it not with our history?" Blaine winked. Sam stared at him in awe while he felt tears climbing into his eyes; tears of happiness. And then, before he knew what he was doing, he leaned closer and enfolded his lips around Blaine's. A soft hand cupped his jaw and Sam smiled into the kiss without stopping it. Oh, he would never ever stop this kiss. He was too afraid it would turn out to be a dream and he'd wake up lonely in his bed. Hungrily he moved against Blaine's mouth and got the same response. Mm, this was better than anything he could ever eat.

They parted their wet lips and joined their foreheads.

"I wanna do it right this time", Blaine whispered.

"Me, too. I wanna take you out."

"No, I take you out. You suffered so much because of me. I want to apologise officially."

"Blaine, you never… yeah well okay, you made me cry a few times."

Blaine laughingly pressed his fist against Sam's arm before he went for another kiss.

* * *

"Finally we're all here!" Elliott said loudly with arms spread wide. Sam narrowed his eyes at him.

"We've been all together to this bar like a hundred times before."

"But you! You two!" Elliott hiccupped and pointed between Sam and Blaine who were sitting next to each other on a bench. Kurt on Elliott's side shook his head and pulled the singer's arm down.

"You two are together now!" Elliott screamed.

"Okay, I think someone had a drink too much", Kurt said. He rolled his eyes to Sam.

"Our plan worked, Sam, our plan finally worked!" Elliott said.

Sam quickly made a throat-cutting gestured while Blaine said: "What plan?"

"Nothing, nothing. Another beer?" Sam asked. Blaine shook his head.

"Your plan didn't do anything, idiot", Kurt said. "It's not as if Blaine and I had fallen apart because of anything you did."

"Yes, you totally did!" Elliott said.

Blaine narrowed his eyes. "Your plan was to break up Kurt and me?"

"No, not really. Just to test the waters. Hey, you aren't mad about that", Sam said.

"I am not?" Blaine blinked in confusion. Sam shook his head and kissed him.

"You love me."

"That I can't deny." Blaine squeezed Sam's hand and pecked him on the mouth. It made Sam happy. Every single one of Blaine's kisses made him happy. They had been together for a month now and he still couldn't get enough; and to be honest he didn't think he ever would. He had loved Blaine for a few years already so why should he ever stop? They were perfect for each other. And maybe in a few more years he'd propose to him. Because they were like one of those couples on TV that would be happy with each other for the rest of their lives and yes, things like that did actually exist in real life. Not to mention that they deserved happiness after everything they had gone through so yes. Blaine and Sam for eternity.

**The end**

(*) 'Somebody Like You' by Keith Urban


End file.
